The Language Alchemy Podcast

103. 3 Response Mistakes to Avoid When Someone Comes Out to You

“Coming out is still something very challenging for a lot of LGBTQIA+ people. And so it's important to respond in a way that communicates to the person coming out that they're safe with us and they belong with us,” explains host and transformative communication coach Alejandra. When an LGBTQ person is coming out of the closet, the way you respond can either validate their sense of belonging with you or trigger a painful experience of losing that belonging and safety. Today, Alejandra explains the history of the term ‘coming out’ and shares three crucial mistakes to avoid when someone comes out to you.
 
Even if you don’t intend to shame someone with your response, it is entirely possible that how you react to a person coming out will indirectly cause them shame. Many LGBTQ people have experienced aggression, discrimination, intolerance, and even violence due to their identity. This means that if someone is choosing to come out to you, they are risking their emotional safety based on their belief that you are a safe person to be authentic with. If your response causes shame, this will reinforce their fear of being openly themselves. Additionally, even though you are likely to be curious, it is important to not ask questions about anything that the person does not bring up directly. Coming out is often a very stressful process and it can be even more overwhelming if immediately upon coming out, someone is bombarded with a bunch of intimate questions. Lastly, keep in mind that someone coming out to you is entirely about them, not about you. The other person may perceive your response as invalidating if you make their coming out about yourself. 
 
If someone trusts you enough to come out to you, you owe it to that person to respond in a way that is respectful of the courage it took for them to speak their truth. Through conscious communication, you can respond in a way that strengthens that person’s sense of belonging and safety with you and avoids causing any additional emotional distress.
 
Quotes
• “It’s very likely that there are people in your life, people you interact with, who are in the closet.” (2:03-2:09 | Alejandra)
• “Do not shame the person coming out either directly or indirectly.” (9:49-9:54 | Alejandra)
• “Don't ask questions about anything the other person is not addressing.” (11:39-11:44 | Alejandra)
• “When someone is coming out, it is about them. It is not about you.” (12:30-12:36 | Alejandra) 
• “Coming out is still something very challenging for a lot of LGBTQIA people. And so it's important to respond in a way that communicates to the person coming out that they're safe with us and they belong with us.” (13:12-13:29 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

102. Language Alchemy Principles You Need To Know - Part 2

“When we transform our communication, we transform our lives, our relationships and our world,” explains host and transformative communication coach Alejandra. In episode 101 of the Language Alchemy Podcast, Alejandra shared the first four foundational principles of her Language Alchemy® communication system. Today, she explains foundational principles five through eight, so that you can put into practice these principles to transform your communication and in doing so, transform your life.
 
By learning the foundational principles of Language Alchemy® you will be better equipped to communicate clearly and consciously. The fifth principle is that there is no one size fits all communication. The most effective communication to use will depend on context and intention. For example, you would not use the same language to communicate with a child as you would with an adult. The sixth principle is that when you choose to communicate as the capable, conscious and mature adult that you are, you can bring forth peace, love, connection and equity. Principle seven is all about letting go of the myth of perfection and embracing reparation. Even though you are learning these Language Alchemy®  skills, there will be times when you will slip back into old patterns. No one communicates perfectly all the time, not even Alejandra. What matters is that when you do make a mistake, you humbly recognize that, apologize and repair the relationship. Finally, the eighth principle is that by transforming your communication, you will transform your life, your relationships, and the world. 
 
The world today is so divisive. By communicating consciously with these principles in mind, you can transform the world around you into a more loving, compassionate, and equitable one.  
Quotes
• “There's no one size fits all communication. Communication depends on the context and the intention.” (3:17-3:25 | Alejandra) 
• “You can bring forth peace, love, connection and equity to your life, our human family and our world when you choose to communicate as the capable, conscious and mature adult that you are.” (5:30-5:45 | Alejandra) 
• “Let go of perfection and embrace preparation.” (7:30-7:34 | Alejandra)
• “When we transform our communication, we transform our lives, our relationships and our world.” (10:09-10:15 | Alejandra)
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

101. Language Alchemy Principles You Need to Know - Part 1

“The language we use is one of the most powerful tools we have to look at reality, understand reality and relate to reality. And that means that the language we use directly impacts the condition of our life, our relationships and our world,” explains host and transformative communication coach Alejandra. There are eight foundational principles that form the unique Language Alchemy® communication system. In today’s episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, Alejandra shares the first four foundational principles you need to know in order to begin transforming your communication and in doing so, your life.
 
Knowing the foundational principles behind anything you learn is important, because they will help you to determine whether that teaching is in alignment with your own values and vision. The first principle of Language Alchemy®  is understanding that the language you use directly shapes your reality. This leads into the second principle, which is that during the language acquisition stage, you learn to communicate based on how those around you communicate. If you do not consciously bring awareness to the way you communicate as you mature, you will continue to communicate in ways you were taught as a young child. Principle three builds off of this concept, stating that authentic communication is all about learning to use your own language with awareness, intentionality and responsibility. Lastly, the fourth principle is about how as you grow, mature, and deepen, your communication needs to grow, mature, and deepen alongside you. 
 
By understanding these foundational principles, you will be better able to notice not only how you communicate, but why you communicate the way that you do. With this newfound awareness, you can then see where your communication does or does not align with your values and transform how you express yourself so that you can communicate authentically.
 
Quotes
• “The language we use is one of the most powerful tools we have to look at reality, understand reality and relate to reality. And that means that the language we use directly impacts the condition of our life, our relationships and our world.” (5:34-5:51 | Alejandra)
• “The language you speak is the language you learned, and you have the capacity to learn to communicate differently.” (7:56-8:04 | Alejandra) 
• “As we grow, mature and deepen, our communication needs to grow, mature and deepen.” (11:37-11:44 | Alejandra)
• “When your communication is in alignment with the conscious, compassionate and mature adult that you are, you can have the life and relationships your heart longs for, and that our human family really needs.” (17:53-18:10 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

100. What is Language Alchemy?

“Language AlchemyTM is a unique transformative communication system, an awareness practice, and a form of evolutionary activism,” explains host and transformative communication coach Alejandra. In today’s 100th episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, Alejandra shares a deeper look into the practice of Language AlchemyTM and talks about why language is so important to her personally.
 
Language AlchemyTM requires constant awareness of what is going on internally within your own mind and body. It requires reflecting on the messaging you were taught growing up that likely still informs how you think and relate to others. When you are aware of the reasons behind how you think and communicate the way that you do, you can start to deconstruct any outdated communication patterns and misaligned beliefs. This will give you the opportunity to create new communication patterns that are in alignment with your actual beliefs, goals, and values. 
 
When you transform your communication patterns using Language AlchemyTM, you gain the ability to communicate from a place of true authenticity. This not only honors yourself, but also honors everyone whom you communicate with. As a form of evolutionary activism, Language AlchemyTM is a pathway to a more equitable, compassionate, and respectful future for all members of our human family. 
 
Quotes
• “When you are aware of what's happening internally, that's when you're able to start to communicate with authenticity.” (00:41-00:50 | Alejandra)
• “Language alchemy is a unique transformative communication system, an awareness practice, and a form of evolutionary activism.” (9:59-10:10 | Alejandra) 
• “We explore the messages that you inherited and internalized, and how those messages impact how you communicate and relate today.” (10:47-10:57 | Alejandra)
• “If you're able to see how your life and relationships are the way they are, you are now in a position to learn how they can be different…your communication leads instead to connection, confidence, harmony, or healthy relationships.” (12:05-12:45 | Alejandra) 
• “The language alchemy system helps you ground yourself in the responsibility that you have to respect, honor, and contribute to the well being of all others.” (14:25-14:37 | Alejandra) 
• “Language alchemy is a constant process of awareness, because in my experience, it is when you are aware that you now have the words that are needed in the moment.” (18:29-18:41 | Alejandra) 
• “If we want equality and equity, compassion, dignity, peace, respect for all members of our beautifully diverse human family, then we need to transform our language.” (20:15-20:28 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

99. How Parents Can Stay Grounded While Setting Limits

“Motherhood is obviously a very important piece of my life, but it's also still just a piece of who I am as Sarah. It is the most divine love, but you can easily lose yourself in it if you're not careful,” explains Sarah Ezrin, author of The Yoga of Parenting. Today, Sarah speaks with host Alejandra about how parents can stay grounded while setting limits.
 
Conscious parenting requires a strong sense of self, awareness, and intentionality, as well as healthy boundaries. Children are their own beings who are deserving of respect and autonomy of their own. However, this does not mean that you can allow them to do anything they want or rule the household. Research has shown that children tend to benefit the most from a middle ground that incorporates limits and boundaries with a strong sense of connection between themselves and their caregiver. Through yoga, Sarah has developed tools that transfer over to conscious parenting, such as gaining a deeper awareness of her limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
 
It is important to find ways to stay grounded while working on consciously building a healthy relationship with your child. If you do not establish healthy boundaries, not only will you risk losing the parts of your identity that do not revolve around motherhood, but your child may not be able to learn how to set their own boundaries.
Quotes
• “Every healthy relationship needs healthy boundaries, and our children need our healthy boundaries as well.” (12:13-12:20 | Alejandra)
• “Motherhood is obviously a very important piece of my life, and they are my favorite human beings on the planet. But it's also still just a piece of who I am as Sarah, as a whole. It is the most divine love, but you can easily lose yourself in it if you're not careful. And it's important to keep yourself as an anchor, so that you actually even have that love to give.” (15:59-16:22 | Sarah) 
• “Even though we do try to see our children as whole beings who deserve respect and autonomy, it doesn't mean that they're getting the run of the house.” (17:09-17:20 | Sarah)
• “It's finding the middle ground of having high limit setting, but also high connection.” (19:05-19:11 | Sarah)
Links
Connect with Sarah Ezrin:
Sarah Ezrin's website: https://sarahezrinyoga.com/
To connect with Sarah: https://www.instagram.com/sarahezrinyoga/
Sarah's Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahezrin
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

98. Conscious Communication Via Text and Social Media

“If we want to communicate consciously via text messaging or social media, then we need to be aware that we are using a different medium of communication and we cannot have the same kind of interaction that we have in person or over the phone,” explains host and transformative communication coach Alejandra. Today, she cultivates awareness around the importance of conscious communication when using text messaging and social media.The intent behind your message can easily be misconstrued when communicating via text message or over a social media platform. With misunderstandings being at the root of so many conflicts, it can be quite beneficial to engage in conscious communication. Instead of responding with an emoji which could be seen as dismissive, or sending texts with incomplete thoughts that could cause confusion, take some extra time to make sure what you have written is a clear and complete thought. Additionally, instead of simply liking a social media post, take a moment to actually type out a response. This will show the receiver that you are truly listening to and valuing what they have to say.
 
With more communication occurring via social media and text messaging nowadays, it is more important than ever to engage in conscious communication in order to avoid misunderstandings. The next time you go to send a text message, slow down and make sure you have written out your complete thought, as this will help to avoid miscommunication. 
 
Quotes
• “If we want to communicate consciously via text messaging or social media, then we need to be aware that we are using a different medium of communication. So we cannot have the same kind of interaction that we have in person or over the phone.” (8:29-8:50 | Alejandra)
• “Please take a few seconds to finish your thought before you hit send.” (13:27-13:34 | Alejandra) 
• “When you write a social media post, I suggest you tell people exactly what you would like to receive as a response.” (17:21-17:29 | Alejandra)
• “When you respond to a post on social media, if you didn't read the text and you just liked the picture or the video, then type and actually say ‘I liked your photo’.” (18:16-18:35 | Alejandra)
• “When we are communicating consciously, we are aware of how we are communicating.” (20:24-20:29 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com 
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion 
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone 
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples 
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient 
To follow Alejandra on Instagram follow @languagealchemy 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
To ask your communication questions, click here:
languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

97. Before You Send That Message...

“When you get an unclear, ambiguous, and vague text message, the message is open to so many interpretations. You may have all sorts of stories in your mind, and when you respond, your response may be influenced by the narrative you created,” explains host Alejandra. Today, she discusses six points of consideration for more skillful, conscious, mindful, and efficient communication when using written communication tools like text messaging.
 
Misunderstandings can often lead to unintentional conflict. In order to avoid the potential for misunderstandings, it is typically best to spend a bit more time making sure your message is written in as clear language as possible. When you receive an unclear, ambiguous, and vague text message, instead of coming up with assumptions about the sender’s intent, ask a clarifying question. This will help both you and the sender communicate more mindfully and efficiently while reducing the opportunity for misunderstandings. 
 
People frequently make the mistake of sacrificing clarity for brevity when it comes to texting. Spend some extra time making sure your text message is clear. Because this will not only show consideration for the recipient’s time and reduce misunderstandings, but also your overall communication will be more efficient. 
 
Quotes
• “Vague, ambiguous, unclear messages are taxing to your brain.” (4:02-4:08 | Alejandra)
• “When you get such an unclear, ambiguous, and vague text message, the message is open to so many interpretations. You may have all sorts of stories in your mind, and when you respond, your response may be influenced by the narrative you created.” (9:57-10:16 | Alejandra)
• “If you're trying to be brief and quick in a text message, make sure you're not sacrificing clarity.” (14:20-14:28 | Alejandra) 
• “If you take a couple more minutes or a few more seconds before you send that text message or before you reply to an unclear message, your communication will not only be more skillful, because you'll reduce the amount of guesswork and misunderstanding, but your communication will also be more efficient, because you will reduce the number of messages in the thread.” (18:25-18:49 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

96. Need Inspiration?

“Living a committed life is not easy, but it is so rewarding,” shares host Alejandra. Recently, Alejandra was inspired by the messages in Lynne Twist’s new book, Living A Committed Life: Finding Freedom and Fulfillment in a Purpose Larger Than Yourself. Today, she discusses how transforming your language can help you to transform how you live your life as well as eight steps you can take to create a more committed life. 
 
In order to commit to something greater than yourself, it is important to first determine your values. Once you are clear on what your values are, you can begin to transform your mindset through conscious communication. When you transform your language and learn to really listen, you will be able to create healthier relationships with others and form an ecosystem of support around your commitments. Although your transformation process may take a long time, try to stay committed to the long game and dream big.
 
Commitments lead to liberation. Once you take a stand for your values and commit to something greater than yourself, your mindset will start to shift and true transformation can occur. 
 
Quotes
• “Transforming your language helps you transform how you live your life.” (8:49-8:53 | Alejandra)
• “Transformation is a complete and total shift in the nature and dynamics of what's happening. When you set out to make a change in the world, you respond or react to what currently exists, so your goal is to make it less, more different or better. Transformation creates something anew." (9:31-9:57 | Alejandra reading from Lynne’s book) 
• “Language alchemy is evolutionary activism.” (13:37-13:41 | Alejandra)
• “Transforming your language and learning to listen is how you transform the context, your mindset, and how you learn to trust in your capacity to take action. It's also how you learn to relate to others in a healthy way so that together, you can create a healthy ecosystem of collaborators.” (18:18-18:40 | Alejandra)
• “Living a committed life is not easy, but it is so rewarding.” (18:45-18:50 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To purchase Lynne Twist book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/710112/living-a-committed-life-by-lynne-twist/
 
To join the mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

95. How to Talk Respectfully to a Person with a Disability

“I don't want people to just be reduced to their disability, I want people to know that they can be so much more,” explains Jessie Wolinsky, social justice advocate and Badass Blind Babe Podcaster. Jessie was diagnosed at 7 years old with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative condition that causes blindness. At 14, she started the Jessie’s SightSavers fundraising group and raised a quarter of a million dollars for blindness research. Now, she is the President of the Los Angeles chapter for The Foundation Fighting Blindness. Today, she talks with host Alejandra about mindful communication and how to speak respectfully to a person with a disability. 
 
Many people do not interact with people with disabilities regularly. This unfamiliarity may cause them to act or speak in ways that are unintentionally disrespectful. Jessie explains that one of the most powerful things someone can do is to ask every person with blindness or another disability how they wish to be referred to, as language surrounding a disability is incredibly personal. Some may choose to refer to themselves as ‘blind’ as Jessie does, while others may view that language as harmful. The language you choose to use can inadvertently reduce a person to their disability, when in reality they are so much more than that. This is why it is so important to be mindful and use respectful communication.
 
Disabilities are a spectrum and just because two people are both blind, they may not have the same symptoms or experiences. By changing your language to reflect the individuality of the person you are speaking to, you are respecting that each person with a disability is unique. 
Quotes
• “Everyone deserves to have the right to be referred to in a way that makes them feel comfortable and resonates with who they truly are and how they truly want to identify.” (0:00-0:10 | Jessie)
• “I'm going blind, I can't control that. But I control how I respond to it.” (6:05-6:09 | Jessie)
• “Everyone struggles with always finding positivity in their life and trying to come to terms with things that they cannot control.“ (7:39-7:46 | Jessie) 
• “The most powerful thing that someone can do is ask every person with a disability or ask every person who suffers from vision loss, how do you want to be referred to?” (9:47-9:57 | Jessie)
• “I don't want people to just be reduced to their disability, and I want people to know that they can be so much more.” (16:26-16:31 | Jessie)
• “Everyone has the power to create the life that they want, regardless of what they might be experiencing, regardless of the things that they might not be able to control or change.” (21:06-21:15 | Jessie)
 
Links
Connect with  Jessie Wolinsky:
Jessie's Instagram: @jesswo
Jessie's Tik Tok: @badassblindbabe
Jessie's Podcast: Badass Blind Babe (available on all podcast platforms)
To join the Bay Area's Vision Walk of Donate to Jessie's NoCal Fan Club: https://give.fightingblindness.org/team/497720
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

94. This Is How You Avoid Conflicts

“The remedy, when you realize you're heading into conflict, is to, number one, find the misunderstanding. And number two, communicate clearly and directly,” explains host Alejandra. According to Linguists, 85% of all conflicts are based on misunderstandings. Today, Alejandra discusses how to avoid unintentional conflicts by explaining the four reasons why these misunderstandings happen.
 
When conflicts occur in a relationship, it can typically be traced back to a misunderstanding. If you are unclear in your words, desires, or intentions, this may lead the person you are speaking with to misunderstand you. By working on communicating more clearly, you can avoid these conflicts. Some additional sources of misunderstanding come from misinterpreting someone’s words or actions as hurtful, assuming ill intent on behalf of the other person, and not clearly outlining who is responsible for what action. For example, if your partner says they will be home soon, and then they are not home until very late that night, you might be upset. However, your definition of ‘soon’ may be different from theirs, and the misunderstanding lies in not having communicated clear expectations.
 
Most conflicts are caused by misunderstandings. By learning to communicate with clarity and directness, you can avoid at least 10 conflicts a day. Determining the source of the misunderstanding is step one in resolving any current conflict. Pair that with communicating clearly and directly, and you are on your way to clearer communication and healthier relationships. 
 
Quotes
• “Most conflicts happen because of a misunderstanding.” (3:09-3:13 | Alejandra) 
• “Sometimes, and this is perhaps the most common way misunderstandings happen, we simply don't communicate clearly.” (6:25-6:33 | Alejandra)
• “Misunderstandings also happen when someone says something that was not meant to hurt you in any way, but the way you heard it does evoke hurt in you, because what the other person said or didn't say or didn't do didn't meet your unspoken expectations.” (7:36-7:58 | Alejandra)
• “The remedy, when you realize you're heading into conflict, is to, number one, find the misunderstanding. And number two, communicate clearly and directly.” (11:10-11:24 | Alejandra)
• “While it's simple to use clear, specific and direct language, or share our expectations in advance, communicating clearly can be uncomfortable.” (13:13-13:24 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm