The Language Alchemy Podcast

118. How to Have Antiracist Conversations

"Anti-racist conversations are not conversations just for people of the global majority. It's for everyone. We're all impacted by racism. So we all have a role to play," says Dr. Roxy Manning.
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka delves into the transformative world of anti-racist dialogues with her guest, Dr. Roxy Manning. An authority in both communication and anti-racism, Dr. Manning highlights the profound impact of anti-racist conversations at personal, interpersonal, and societal levels. Drawing from her experiences as an Afro-Caribbean immigrant, she offers a poignant reflection on her journey navigating the challenges of identity and belonging. With great candor, she discusses her experience of recognizing and unlearning unhelpful patterns of behavior and rejecting compartmentalization behaviors and beliefs within ethnic groups and gender that were influencing her. Shifting into a discussion of creating positive peace through anti-racist conversations, Dr. Manning shares 4 dialogues that can be a part of a healing journey: a solution dialogue, a dialogue to be heard, a dialogue for understanding and a dialogue for healing. For listeners interested in learning more about these complex concepts, Dr. Manning's books, "How to Have Anti-Racist Conversations" and "The Anti-Racist Heart", come highly recommended.
 
Quotes:
• "I had to learn how to find my own value and hold it up in the face of almost continuous messages that it shouldn't be there, that it didn't exist." (08:22 | Dr. Roxy Manning)
• "I realized I couldn't do it on my own, because I kept running into these roadblocks where I would judge myself." (15:39 | Dr. Roxy Manning)
• “It's such a weird catch-22 because I would always feel strange when I would tell people like, I love giving to people. It's joyful for me, but I don't trust anybody wants to give to me, right? Like it's got to be a burden. It's like, how do I expect you to think that I'm giving freely if I can't accept what you're offering me freely?”
• “What do we mean by anti-racist? And I always use the definition that I love from Ibram Kendi, Dr. Ibram Kendi. And he says, like, a racist is somebody who does something, who takes an action that has a negative impact, a negative impact on one group. And an anti-racist is somebody who's taking actions that are meant to restore equity between groups. And so when I think about an anti-racist conversation, it's the kind of conversations that we need in order to move towards actions that will restore equity to a situation.” (17:38 | Dr. Roxy Manning) 
• "Positive peace says, peace happens when everybody's needs are being met." (22:12 | Dr. Roxy Manning) 
• “If we have like a white-only group or a Black-only group, isn't that racist?  No, this is exactly the place where you get to practice and have those conversations and admit that you don't know something without causing harm." (39:06 | Dr. Roxy Manning) 
Links
Connect with Roxy Manning:
To visit Roxy Manning's website: roxannemanning.com
To purchase How to Have Antiracist Conversations book: antiracistconversations.comTo work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

117. Mastering Your Mindset: How Language Shapes Your Capacity

"Mindset is a habitual story expressed by the language you use in your internal dialogue." says Alejandra Siroka. This episode explores the concept of mindset and its relationship to language and internal dialogue. Our host, Alejandra, shares how she came to understand that mindset is actually a story expressed through the language we use in our internal dialogue. Mindset is a story about our capacity or lack thereof. We can consciously work with our mindsets by using specific language in our internal dialogue to recognize and expand our capacity when faced with challenges. This is a powerful tool that allows us to expand our minds and our capabilities.  It is also a powerful tool that can tell us unhelpful stories and limit our capacity.  Because of this, it is so important to listen to our internal dialogue!
 
Quotes:
• "Mindset is a habitual story expressed by the language you use in your internal dialogue. And specifically, mindset is a story about your capacity or lack of it." (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "I didn't want my mind to be set on some kind of fixed position. I wanted my mind to expand." (04:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Mindset is a habitual story expressed by the language you use in your internal dialogue. And specifically, mindset is a story about your capacity or lack of it. So when you pay attention to your mindset, you are going to be paying attention to frequent words or language in your internal dialogue that describe what seems doable, possible, or impossible for you.” (07:46 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When I acknowledge that I can do hard things and then I look back and think of some hard things that I have been able to do, I start seeing how to break the potentially hard things into smaller doable actions." (15:47 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "To change our mindsets, we need time, we need practice, and we need support." (17:54 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Start noticing the specific stories that come up around your capacity, what's doable or not doable for you. And start becoming aware of the language of these stories. Is the language useful because it's leading you towards understanding that you have the ability to do that which your heart longs for or that which life is asking you to do or that which is needed at this point in your life? Or is the language of these frequent stories unhelpful, discouraging, or harmful. If so, then you need to do some deep work on your mindsets and learn to transform your language." (00:19:35 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

116. How Our Internal Dialogue Shapes Our Communication with Others

"Is your internal dialogue shaping your reality and relationships? 
In this thought-provoking episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, Alejandra Siroka delves into the power of our internal dialogue and how it impacts our communication with others. She challenges us to focus on the judgments that we hold in our internal dialogue about other people and the impact those judgments have in ourselves and in our communication. 
Through an eye-opening experiment, Alejandra guides us to examine our internal dialogue about people we like and those we don't. She reveals how our judgments and perceptions shape our interactions and relationships. By becoming aware of our internal dialogue, we can transform our communication and create a kinder, more harmonious reality. 
 
Quotes:
• "Language is a way to look at reality and to relate to reality depending on what we see.” (6:07 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “If you'd like to be in thriving mode more often than in just minimum survival mode in your relationships, then notice the stories you tell yourself about other people. Albert Einstein has been quoted to say, the most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe. So listen to your internal dialogue to know whether your internal dialogue is friendly or hostile. And if your relationships are mostly hostile, unsatisfactory, superficial, or inauthentic, then that's because your internal dialogue is filled with negative judgments about others.” (16:06 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "If you want a reality that is kinder, more harmonious, calmer, more connecting, then, you need to use a language in your internal dialogue that sees that reality, especially other people, in the friendly way you want to experience your reality." (17:07 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

115. How To Discover The Core Theme of Your Mind Story

"Knowing the core theme of your mind stories is helpful because it can serve as a motivation to grow out of it." says Alejandra Siroka.
 
Have you ever wondered about the patterns that shape your internal dialogue? There are habitual narratives that impact many of us and they are centered around three prevailing themes – safety, connection, and self-worth. Through relatable scenarios, Alejandra helps listeners identify and understand their dominant themes. She stresses that while these recurring themes might feel familiar, they do not always reflect our true reality.
 
Alejandra offers suggestions for what to do when becoming aware of these familiar themes, including acknowledging them with compassion, using the five steps to break the spell of a mind story (as discussed in Episode 114), and seeking support to expand your perception and grow out of these themes. Quotes:
• “The three main frequent familiar themes that tend to be at the center of our mind stories are related to safety, connection, or self-worth.”  (10:03 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Knowing the core theme of your mind stories is helpful because it can serve as a motivation to grow out of it." (12:12 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Number one, acknowledge that this is your core theme with compassion." (13:07 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "Number two, the second thing you can do is to listen to episode 114, write down those five steps to break the spell of a mind story and have those five steps handy." (13:51 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "And the third suggestion is to ask for support so that you can expand your perception and grow out of your core theme so that you can communicate and show up in your life and relationships as the conscious, compassionate, and mature adult you are." (14:09 | Alejandra Siroka)
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

114. 5 Steps to Break the Spell of a Mind Story

Have you ever caught yourself captured by a story created by your own mind? Most of us are unaware of the narratives we tell ourselves, leading us to unknowingly act upon these stories. We may find ourselves holding back when we want to speak up, saying things we don’t mean, or even taking hurtful action all based on a mind story.
 
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the intricacies of our internal communication system. Just like the childhood game of broken telephone, our minds tend to filter and distort the messages we receive. But unlike the game, we're often unaware of this happening within our internal dialogue.
 
We may unknowingly create stories that lead us astray from what is true, causing self-sabotage, damaged relationships, and missed opportunities for growth and connection. Alejandra provides practical examples and strategies to help you untangle the web of mind stories and cultivate awareness of your thoughts. 
 
Cultivating the skill of self-reflection helps us to recognize the stories we tell ourselves and prevent misunderstandings, release anxiety, and make decisions based on clarity and presence.
 
Quotes:
• “What's really important to notice here is that many times, even though we told ourselves a story that we ourselves created, we take action based on the story that we made up in our mind. So, we say things that later on we regret, or we do things that may be hurtful to others and also to ourselves. We may damage a relationship. We may self sabotage ourselves and get the opposite of what we say we want. We may keep meaningful relationships on the surface. That is to say, we miss beautiful opportunities for growth, for meaningful connection, or intimacy.” (4:59 | Alejandra) 
• “Give yourself the space to pause and ask yourself if there's a story you are telling yourself.” (12:58 | Alejandra) 
• “Then, either write the story down or share it with someone who can be present and compassionate with you. This is very important because if you share it with someone who's going to make your story bigger than it is, or someone who's going to judge you or make fun of you for having this mind story, then that's not going to be in the least helpful”. (13:07 | Alejandra)
• “The third step is to ask yourself about what kind of evidence you have that this story is not true or not completely true.” (13:31 | Alejandra)
• "Look for familiar themes in that mind story, themes such as 'Others don't like me,' or 'I'm going to be rejected,' or 'I don't belong.'” (14:51 | Alejandra)
• “Now, the last step, step number five, is to connect to how you want to talk to yourself when these stories come up and you hear them in your internal dialogue.” (15:58 | Alejandra)
• “If you realize that it's hard for you to describe or specify how you would like to talk to yourself in those moments, or how you would like to communicate with others, then it would be so helpful for you to get support with your communication.” (16:38 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on Instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

113. A Simple Practice to Stay Connected to Your Internal Communication System

"If you'd like to communicate skillfully and authentically, if you want to have healthy relationships and thrive no matter what's going on in your life, then you need to do the work to have access to your internal communication system. And I can assure you that it's work worth doing." says Alejandra Siroka
 
This episode focuses on the importance of connecting to your internal communication system and accessing your felt sense. Alejandra provides a simple yet powerful exercise to connect with your felt sense by asking yourself the question, "What am I sensing right now?" By regularly checking in with your physical body and understanding your internal communication system, you can communicate more authentically and skillfully. Alejandra shares personal experiences and examples of how accessing the felt sense can lead to setting boundaries, expressing needs, and healing relationships. One reminder? Be patient with yourself and practice this skill regularly!
 
Quotes:
• "You've heard me say before that if you want to communicate authentically and show up as the conscious, compassionate, mature adult you are, you need to be in the present moment. Well, if you don't have access to the felt sense of your experience and you bypass it and go straight to the thinking mind, when you go to the thinking mind without going through the felt sense of your body first, you leave the present moment." (05:34 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "A wonderful way to connect to your felt sense and pay attention to your internal communication system is by asking yourself a question. And the question is, what am I sensing right now?" (7:17 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Paying attention to your felt sense. It will allow you to be able to communicate authentically as the conscious, compassionate, and mature adult you are." (14:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

112. Understanding Your Internal Communication System

"When you connect to your felt sense, you are going to discover a very rich world." says Alejandra Siroka.
 
In this episode of Language Alchemy, host and transformative communication coach Alejandra delves into the importance of reconnecting with your internal communication system, which often gets lost as we grow and are socialized. She emphasizes the vital role this system plays in both authentic communication and self-awareness.
 
Picture yourself as a baby – you didn't have language, but you had an internal communication system that let you know when you were hungry, tired, or needed comfort. You communicated these needs through sensations in your body and sounds like crying and caregivers responded to these cues, meeting your needs. But as we grow up Alejandra explains that, we shift our focus to our thinking minds, and we lose touch with this internal communication system. But it's still there, sending signals through physical sensations. And learning to reconnect with it is key to authentic communication and enriching our relationships.
 
Through self-reflection, you can tap into your internal communication system, enhance your self-awareness, and learn the language of your feelings and sensations.
 
Quotes:
• "When we engage in self-reflection, we get to look at how we have been communicating, how things are solved. And then we get to reflect on whether we want to continue communicating the way we've been doing it or whether we want to communicate differently. It is through self-reflection that we also get to connect to our deepest longings of our heart so that later on we can direct our attention to taking the necessary actions to communicate in a way that truly represents the mature conscious adult we are and be able to fulfill those deep longings." (02:04 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "If you want to communicate authentically, you can't just do it with your thinking mind or simply by using techniques to communicate effectively. Why? Because when you do that, you are missing a huge amount of valuable information." (14:50 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "To reconnect to your internal communication system, you need to become aware of your felt sense, your physical body sensations." (17:05 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When you connect to your felt sense, you are going to discover a very rich world." (19:28 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Take a moment. Notice what are you sensing right now? What is present in your body as you are listening? What are you experiencing right now? And if you ask yourself these questions at least three times a day, you'd be on your way to reconnecting with your internal communication system and getting closer and closer to expressing yourself authentically, with clarity, with confidence, and with compassion." (21:06 | Alejandra Siroka) 
Links
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

111. Navigating Transitions: Insights from Parenting Coach Caroline Griswold on Guiding Kids Back to School

Transitions, although a natural part of growth, can unsettle a child's sense of safety and connection. In this episode, host and transformative communication coach Alejandra Siroka sits down with Caroline Griswold, a leader in the realm of respectful parenting education and coaching. Together, they address the challenges children face during transitions and share tangible strategies for parents to confidently and skillfully support their children.
 
Transitions, such as returning to school, can challenge a child’s sense of security and belonging. Caroline advocates for early preparation and dialogue, setting the stage with your child for what lies ahead, communicating confidence in the upcoming change, and closely observing your child’s behavior for clues about their feelings towards these changes.
 
While we wish for transitions to be smooth and comfortable for our children, not all shifts are without turbulence. Children often take longer than adults to adapt to changes, and when they struggle, their emotions and behavior signal their distress. Caroline emphasizes the importance of holding space for upset, tears, and intense feelings, suggesting it can be healing for both children and parents to fully experience big feelings. She further recommends integrating “play listening” into interactions during transitional times. By cultivating an environment of playfulness and laughter, parents can foster connection, alleviate tension, and strengthen bonds.
 
Alejandra and Caroline recognize that parents, too, are experiencing transitions along with their children. Acknowledging their own emotions about and during transition can empower them to better support their children. In moments of uncertainty or intense feelings about parenting, Caroline's website, fertilegroundparenting.com, stands as a beacon, offering numerous resources, including her insightful weekly email, "The Parenting Pause."
 
Quotes:
• “Kids tend to weather transitions more slowly than we do as adults. We've had more experience. Of course, this varies kid by kid because every kid is a little bit different. One of the things that we can do always when a transition is coming is to know we need to take it slowly. We can help our kids if we expect that it will take a while for them to get used to whatever the transition is. And it may take longer than we wish it would.” (8:16 | Caroline)
• "Find a way to take care of your heart and your feelings, too, during this time. That will of course help you support your kids more, but also help you tend to the feelings that arise for you." (38:40 | Caroline)  
• "A transition is anything that can challenge a child's sense of safety or connection or both. So anything that sort of gets into their life and makes things feel a little bit wobbly. So that could be, you know, getting a new caregiver, going to a new school or going back to school, even if it's the same school, you know, every school year is a transition." (4:18 | Caroline) 
 
Links:
Connect with Caroline Griswold:
To visit Caroline's website: www.fertilegroundparenting.com
To connect with Caroline over Instagram, visit @fertilegroundparenting
To Give Alejandra a birthday gift and enter a raffle to win a 45-minute mini communication session with Alejandra, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastbirthday 
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

110. 5 Strategies for Skillful Empathic Communication

Empathy. It’s how we tap into the human experience, leave our world and enter into someone else’s, witness their experience, and show them that they matter to us. By showing empathy, we offer someone the invaluable gift of being seen and heard. On today’s episode host and transformative communication coach, Alejandra, continues the conversation about empathy as discussed in the previous episode, episode 109. She walks us through five benefits of communicating with empathy–which also apply to the one offering it– and presents several scenarios which require empathic communication, from a partner’s success to a friend’s conflict with a co-worker. 
 
It’s important to know what empathy is not. It’s not the same as sympathy, and doesn’t require agreement. It is also, Alejandra emphasizes, not about having a perfect answer, reading a person’s mind or–most crucially– a technique. 
 
Conscious communication means being aware of one's intentions to connect with another person and communicate in ways that reflect our intention. This includes, accompanying the other person in their experience.. After today’s episode of Language Alchemy, you will understand how to communicate with empathy consciously and skillfully. 
 
#witness #conscious communication #empathicresponse #communication
 
Quotes
• “Every member of our precious human family has the need to…be witnessed.” (3:58 | Alejandra) 
• “Offering empathy is a gift for both the person who's giving it and the person who's receiving it, the other person, and ourselves.” (10:00 | Alejandra)
• “It doesn't matter if you guessed exactly what your friend was feeling. What matters is that the expression of empathy shows that you want to understand what this experience was like for your friend.” (12:28 | Alejandra)
• “Empathy has nothing to do with agreement.” (17:58 | Alejandra)
 
Links
To Give Alejandra a birthday gift and enter a raffle to win a 45-minute mini communication session with Alejandra, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastbirthday 
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

109. Empathy vs. Sympathy: Exploring the Contrast and Its Meaningful Implications

In this episode, host and transformative communication coach, Alejandra Siroka explains that empathy involves truly understanding and sharing in someone else's feelings, while sympathy is more about expressing concern for another person's suffering. Throughout the episode, Alejandra draws upon her experience with Nonviolent Communication and her background in empathy studies. She provides listeners with relatable scenarios to illustrate the differences between empathy and sympathy, offering phrases that illustrate each approach.
 
It’s important to use these sympathetic and empathic expressions mindfully, as they can significantly impact how the other person perceives your response.  Alejandra recommends considering the potential pitfalls of relying solely on sympathy, which might inadvertently reinforce the pain or suffering of the other person, particularly in the context of traumatic experiences. Finally, Alejandra suggests experimenting with expressions of sympathy and empathy and observing how each is received by others. As we take our time and practice, we will be better able to know whether sympathy or empathy lead us to a greater sense of connection in our daily conversations.
 
Quotes
• “In a nutshell, empathy is about understanding or trying to understand. There's an old proverb that is a great example of empathy and it goes like this, “You can't judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.” So, one way of remembering empathy is that when there's empathy, there is no judgment.” (11:31 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you express empathy, you are in the feeling or trying to be in the feeling with the other person. When you say something such as, “You worked so hard for it and I know you have all the skills to get that promotion,” you're showing that your intention is to look at the situation in the same way, and perhaps with the same emotions that the other person is experiencing.” (09:45 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you respond with sympathy, and say something like, ‘Poor you, that sucks, I'm sorry that happened to you,’ you are conveying that you are with a feeling that may be similar to what the other person is experiencing and that you yourself feel badly, or sorry, that the other person is suffering or going through a painful experience.” (12:07 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To Give Alejandra a birthday gift and enter a raffle to win a 45-minute mini communication session with Alejandra, visit: languagealchemy.com/podcastbirthday 
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm