The Language Alchemy Podcast

140. The Secret Benefits of Expressing Needs & The Cost of Keeping Quiet

Navigating through life's challenges is one thing, but thriving and finding deep fulfillment is an entirely different journey—one that hinges significantly on our ability to communicate our needs clearly. Alejandra Siroka returns in this episode with Part 3 of the “Communicating Your Needs Skillfully” series, where she discusses the critical role of articulating needs in personal development and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. Alejandra highlights the positive effects of recognizing and meeting each other's needs, emphasizing how mutual support fosters joy, interconnectedness, and a sense of belonging. She argues that expressing needs not only affirms our own life and self-worth, but also strengthens self-esteem and contributes to balanced, healthy relationships.
 
Alejandra points out significant disadvantages when needs remain uncommunicated. Not expressing needs can entrench negative self-perceptions, including feelings of unworthiness or misplaced superiority, and erode self-esteem and confidence. It can also signal distrust and undervalue the capacity of loved ones to meet those needs, robbing them of the fulfillment that comes from providing support. Furthermore, failing to articulate needs prevents the fulfillment of relational needs, leading to emotional disconnection and potentially triggering anxiety, depression, and other negative emotional states. This silence hampers personal growth and the ability to maintain enriching, satisfying relationships.
 
To address these challenges, Alejandra introduces her Language Alchemy Group Coaching Program set to begin this April. This three-month program is designed to create a supportive community environment where participants can develop the skills to communicate their needs with clarity, confidence, and conviction. Through this initiative, Alejandra aims to equip individuals with the tools necessary for fostering clear and meaningful interactions, promising a path toward personal growth and healthier relationships. Learn more here.
 
Quotes
• "When you have a thriving and meaningful life, when you have equitable relationships, you experience interconnectedness." (04:41 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When you help contribute to others' well-being, you are also contributing to your own well-being." (04:50 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "When you communicate your needs out loud, you are giving others that opportunity to feel wonderful, to feel tender, generous, happy inside. And you are communicating to others that they are worthy of your trust, of your ask, and that whatever they're giving you to help you fulfill your needs is good, valuable, and appreciated." (08:16 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When you communicate your needs, you are affirming the importance of your life. When you ask for what you need, when you express your needs out loud with clarity, with confidence and conviction, you are reaffirming to yourself that you matter, that you are worthy of being given to. and that you and your life are valuable. And this is something very powerful and crucial to communicate if we want to have healthy relationships. Relationships in which you and the other human being have equal value." (08:53 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "To have healthy relationships, we need to communicate our needs out loud." (13:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

139. Communicating Your Needs Will Enliven Your Life and Relationships

Do you truly understand your needs and are you communicating them clearly? In this episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, and as the second part of the Communicating Needs Skillfully series, host Alejandra Siroka delves into the importance of recognizing and expressing emotional, intellectual, energetic, and spiritual needs.
 
Alejandra leads with a series of probing questions designed to help listeners explore their own perceptions and beliefs about their needs. 
 
Sharing insights from her personal life, Alejandra introduces a practice she relies on to clarify her needs when they seem uncertain. Drawing from a personal hiking experience with her partner, she illustrates how self-reflection through specific questions can enhance awareness, uncover deeper needs, and foster clear and meaningful communication:
 
 What's truly going on with me right now? 
 What do I need?
 What's important for me right now?
 What would be beneficial for me in this situation?
 What would be useful to communicate out loud about my needs?
 
Through this story, Alejandra illustrates the crucial roles of self-awareness and empathy in recognizing personal needs and enhancing relational dynamics.
 
Alejandra offers an invitation to the Language Alchemy Group Coaching set in April, which will support those looking to know and connect better to their needs. 
 
Quotes
• “I'm using the words beautiful, wonderful, and precious because one of my teachers, Robert Gonzalez, used to talk about needs as the most precious gifts we have to affirm our lives. Another teacher I had, Marshall Rosenberg, believed that every thought and every action was an attempt to meet a need. And you don't have to agree with them to understand that every living being has needs. Your needs don't have to be good or bad. They're just human, human needs. And because you are human, my dear, you have needs.” (07:58 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “It's easier to connect to the needs of our physical body because our bodies communicate with us very clearly when we need air, food, rest, etc. It's the other needs, the emotional, intellectual, energetic, and spiritual needs that seem more elusive. These are the needs we must connect to and communicate if we would like to have meaningful, fulfilling lives and relationships.” (09:11 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “When you don't know what your needs are, ask yourself these four questions. Number one, what's truly going on with me right now? Number two, what do I need? Number three, what's important for me right now? And number four, what would be beneficial for me in this situation? These are the four questions that can help you connect to your needs. And if you'd like to take the next step of encouraging yourself to communicate your needs, then ask yourself the fifth question, what would be useful to communicate out loud about my needs? Asking yourself that question will help you direct your awareness to communicate more skillfully with the people in your life.” (15:50 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

138. Why Women Struggle to Communicate Their Needs Clearly and Directly

Why do so many women find it challenging to clearly articulate their needs? This episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, hosted by Alejandra Siroka, tackles this question head-on, right in time for International Women's Day.
 
Alejandra discusses the dual purpose of International Women's Day: to celebrate women's achievements and advance gender equality. She stresses the need for women to express their needs as a critical aspect of achieving equality and recognition in society.
 
The episode examines common reasons why women struggle with communication, drawing on Alejandra's experiences and insights from working with women. She identifies societal conditioning, childhood influences, and cultural expectations as key factors that lead to indirect and often unclear expression of needs.
 
Alejandra offers advice for overcoming these communication barriers, focusing on self-reflection, the importance of community support, and the process of unlearning problematic communication patterns.
Quotes
• "When all the women in your life are able to communicate their needs with clarity, confidence, and compassion, they will be able to thrive because they will know in their bones that they matter as much as the male members of our human family. And women cannot thrive if they think they're less than men, or if they believe that they have not earned the right to have needs." (01:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "Why is it so challenging for women to simply say, I would like to receive more support from you when the kids are sick? Or, my body is telling me I need to rest and I can't keep volunteering every weekend. You need to find another volunteer. Or, I'm struggling to keep up with all the tasks and deadlines you're giving me. I need one more person in my team if you'd like us to meet the goals for this quarter. Why is it that women can't simply express their needs easily with their partners, with their adult children, with their coworkers, with our parents and other family members, with people in our community, with strangers? Why? Have you ever asked yourself that question?" (5:00 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “So they say to me, Alejandra, how come my partner doesn't see I need more help with our kids' homework? How come my parents don't see I need more time with my friends and I can't spend every vacation with them? When I ask these women if they've communicated these needs to the other person, just like they're doing it with me, the answer I sometimes get is, um, maybe, or sometimes it's no, or I shouldn't need to. They should already know. I know so many people who think that way. My mother included. Why would we believe that the people in our lives should read our minds and know what we need without us asking them? The answer has to do with language and communication.” (08:12 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Why would we believe that the people in our lives should read our minds and know what we need without us asking them? The answer has to do with language and communication.” (08:51 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Learning to communicate our needs is part of our journey to become an adult woman.”  (16:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

137. Saying Sorry Is Not Enough: How To Have A Repair Conversation

It is human to make mistakes, to hurt, offend, disappoint, or negatively impact another precious human being. And so it is a valuable skill to learn how to apologize in an authentic, mature, and responsible way.
In this episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka delves into the transformative power of repair conversations, offering a more effective approach to healing and strengthening connections compared to typical apologies.
 
Alejandra begins by emphasizing the critical distinction between intention and impact when addressing hurtful actions or words towards another person. Repair conversations focus on acknowledging and taking responsibility for the impact caused, rather than merely justifying intentions, which often leads to defensiveness and resentment.
 
Listeners are guided through a step-by-step process to have a repair conversation. Alejandra emphasizes the creation of a safe space for the other person to express their feelings and impact authentically. Throughout the episode, Alejandra underscores the role of expressing remorse and appreciation during a repair conversation, showcasing its ability to strengthen the connection and foster reconciliation.
 
Mastering the art of repair conversations is a skill that takes time to develop. If you would like support through one-on-one coaching or group sessions to enhance your communication skills and repair relationships effectively, Alejandra invites you to visit her website for more information and resources. Tune in to this episode for valuable insights into transformative communication and healing relationships.
 
Quotes:
• "In a repair conversation, what needs your immediate attention is that the other person was negatively impacted. It doesn't matter whether you had a good intention or whether you had reasons that led you to say or do whatever you said or did. What you need to address first is the negative impact caused by your actions.” (4:21 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you have a repair conversation, you address the negative impact caused by your actions.” (4:21 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Expressing appreciation during a repair conversation helps the other person get back to a place of connection with you. This is how they connect back to their knowing that you are a good person. You don't need to tell them, you are demonstrating it." (10:59 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "It is hard to quickly be in a space for a repair conversation after we've hurt another precious human being. So be patient with yourself. Don't say a repair conversation didn't work after trying it for the first time." (17:49 | Alejandra Siroka)
Links
Episode #136: Apologize Like an Adult:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148547407
Episode #75: When You Don't Like What You Hear: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147833529
Episode #108: Navigating Disagreements, the Path of Meaningful Connection:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148053621
Episode #109: Empathy Versus Sympathy:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148071027
Episode #110: Five Strategies for Skillful Empathic Communication:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148087420
 
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

136. Apologize Like an Adult

Do your apologies sound like a monologue? If you find yourself stuck in the cycle of the "typical apology," chances are your apologies aren’t creating a dialogue, repairing damaged connections or getting the results you desire. In this eye-opening episode, Alejandra Siroka unveils the hidden influence of childhood apologies on our adult communication styles. Drawing from personal anecdotes and insightful analysis, she shines a light on how these early lessons shape our approach to reconciliation.
 
By exploring typical apologies in real-life scenarios, Alejandra exposes the limitations of traditional approaches in fostering genuine connection. From deflecting blame to downplaying our impact, she navigates through the common pitfalls that hinder authentic reconciliation and mutual understanding.
 
Advocating for a shift towards conscious apologies, Alejandra emphasizes the importance of accountability and vulnerability in fostering a deeper experience of connection. Through practical guidance and heartfelt insights, she empowers listeners to embrace sincere communication and take ownership of their words and actions.
 
Alejandra promises to lead listeners on a journey towards exploring the art of conscious apologies in the next episode. Encouraging introspection and reflection, she invites listeners to explore how they can communicate with responsibility and authenticity.
 
To further support listeners, Alejandra extends an invitation to email her with the subject line "APOLOGY ACCOUNTABILITY" for personalized accountability support.
 
Tune in to discover the keys to apologizing with sincerity and accountability, paving the way for deeper connections and meaningful reconciliation.
 
Quotes
• “What is a typical apology? Let's break it down. First, you say, I'm sorry. Then, you launch into an explanation about the reasons that led you to your unskillful words, reactions, and behaviors, and you start to feel good about this. After that, you elaborate some more to let the other person, the recipient of your unskillful communication, see that you had a good intention or that you are a good person who made a tiny, completely forgivable mistake. You also feel good about this. After all that, you ask for forgiveness, just to check that the relationship can go back on track. And finally, you end the apology, either thanking the other person for their forgiveness, or you try to make things better with a childlike tone of voice and offer some kind of reward or do something sweet and affectionate. If the person who was negatively impacted tells you they do forgive you, you feel great relief and you consider the matters closed.” (8:22 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you communicate a typical apology, you're not taking responsibility for your communication or your behavior because you're simply explaining why you did what you did.” (10:07 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you punish the one who is feeling hurt, angry, disappointed, or negatively impacted, or when you punish yourself for not being forgiven, you are generating more pain.” (12:20 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Connection needs dialogue. It needs two people who are sharing and listening. With a typical apology, the person who was negatively impacted was not given any space to be heard.” (12:53 | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

135. 6 Love-Boosting Communication Hacks

Are you ready to deepen your connections and infuse your most important relationships with love and meaning?
 
In this episode, host Alejandra Siroka unveils six things that you can include in your communication if you want to bring love to the forefront of a close relationship, such as a relationship with a dear friend, a child, a family member. These tips, applicable not just on Valentine's Day but in everyday life, offer a holistic approach to nurturing relationships with partners, children, and friends. 
Express Positive Acknowledgment: Take a few moments to highlight the wonderful aspects of your relationships and express genuine appreciation and gratitude for specific actions or qualities.
Use Unique Terms of Endearment: Cultivate intimacy by exploring creative and personal terms that resonate with the unique dynamics of your relationship.
Express Gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for the actions and support received from loved ones, reducing tension and conflicts in relationships.
Say "I Love You" Sincerely and Frequently: Dispel the misconception that partners inherently know they are loved, and emphasize the profound impact of genuine expressions of love.
Demonstrate Knowledge and Consideration: Engage in small gestures or actions that reflect understanding and consideration for the other person's preferences and needs.
Communicate Shared Values: Identify and express appreciation for the values that your loved ones contribute to your life, fostering a deeper sense of connection and closeness.
Throughout the episode, Alejandra emphasizes the power of sincerity and authenticity in communication, urging listeners to approach these strategies with genuine love and appreciation rather than as tactics. 
 
Join Alejandra as she guides you through these transformative techniques and invites you to embark on a journey of deeper connection and heartfelt appreciation in your relationships.
 
Quotes
• “When you use a unique term of endearment to address the person you love, this term lets them know that you have a special relationship with them because it's a term just between the two of you and nobody else. It's very connecting and intimate.” (8:35 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “The expression of gratitude connotes greater affection and warmth. You are using important words such as thank you, I'm grateful, I'm thankful. And these are words that the important people in your life need to hear often to know that they matter and that they are special to you.” (9:41 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Before you communicate any of these suggestions, feel the love in your heart first, and then let the words flow with sincerity and authenticity.” (16:14 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

134. Navigate Sensitive Conversations With These 5 Questions

Are you gearing up for a crucial conversation and hoping to avoid the usual pitfalls of frustration and misunderstanding? In this episode, Alejandra introduces a powerful framework rooted in Buddhist wisdom called "wise speech." It's designed to assist you in navigating sensitive conversations with greater ease, fostering understanding and deeper connections. By asking yourself five profound questions, you can transform your approach to challenging discussions and unlock the potential for positive outcomes.
 
The five questions to ask yourself before having a sensitive conversation are:
Is what I want to talk about useful? Consider whether expressing your feelings and needs would be beneficial for both you and the other person involved. Will it lead to positive changes and a deeper connection?
Is what I want to talk about truthful? Reflect on the accuracy of your perception and whether your feelings are based on facts or assumptions. Ensure that your communication is grounded in truth to avoid misunderstandings.
Is this a good time to talk about this? Assess whether both you and the other person are in a place where you can truly listen and engage in a meaningful conversation. Timing is crucial for skillful communication.
Am I feeling kindness, care, and warmth towards both of us? Check your emotional state and make sure you approach the conversation with empathy and compassion. If you're harboring anger or judgment, it may be better to work on cultivating kindness before engaging in the discussion.
What am I feeling in my body? Pay attention to your physical sensations and assess whether you feel grounded, calm, open, and spacious. If you're experiencing tension or intensity, address those first before initiating the conversation.
 
These questions offer a unique perspective on communication, emphasizing the importance of expressing ourselves with love, compassion, and kindness. They go beyond choosing the right words, delving into the subtleties of body language, tone of voice, and actions. By incorporating these questions into your communication practice, you can turn challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
 
Quotes
• “The Buddhist concept of wise speech offers us a way to express ourselves anchored in our capacity to let our essential wisdom emerge. According to Buddhism, our essential wisdom is consistently loving, compassionate, and kind.” (3:54 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "These questions have helped so many of my clients communicate something important skillfully and have a deeper sense of connection with others and even have their support.” (12:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “These five questions will help you decide if your communication is likely to be skillful or unskillful, and whether your communication is likely to have a positive or a negative impact. If you notice you can't have skillful conversations with the closest people in your life, or if you now realize that when you bring important things up, there's a negative impact, then it's time to get some support.” (14:36 | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
Language Alchemy episode 51: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147759144
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

133. Self-Sabotaging Communication Habits

Creating distance when we yearn for closeness can be heartbreaking, especially when our own communication habits may be the root cause of this outcome. In this episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka delves into the painful irony of how our unintentional communication patterns can widen the gap with those we wish to feel closer to. The episode focuses on the adverse effects of unconscious, unskillful, and hurtful communication, which impacts not only the receiver but also the communicator and the overall health of the relationship.
 
Alejandra uses vivid examples to highlight how negative communication can manifest and the repercussions it can have. She discusses scenarios ranging from a parent's judgmental response to their child's actions, which can erode trust and safety, to a coworker's dismissive attitude towards another's discomfort with racist remarks, potentially leading to professional fallout. These examples illustrate how communication can create barriers, breed misunderstanding, and damage the fabric of relationships.
 
The harm caused by such communication isn’t limited to the receiver; it adversely affects the speaker as well. Alejandra points out that unskillful responses can lead to strained relationships, defensiveness, and even the use of offensive language, creating a cycle of negativity. This not only impacts individual interactions but can also lead to a general deterioration in the quality of the relationship, making it superficial, strained, or even leading to disconnection.
 
Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards change, and Alejandra encourages listeners to reflect on their communication habits. She offers listeners a quiz to identify self-sabotaging communication habits and a free mini video training to begin addressing these issues. By transforming their communication, individuals can significantly improve both their personal and professional relationships.
 
Quotes:
• “When your immediate response is to judge, criticize, or shame the other person, the person who's receiving your unskillful or hurtful communication will be affected negatively. And if you keep communicating in ways that have a negative impact, then your kid or that other person will feel unsafe with you. Not only to go to you when they made a mistake or they did something that they feel embarrassed about, but also when they had any kind of deep experience, even experiences of joy.” (3:42 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you transform your communication, you transform your life, and when you transform your life, you transform your relationships. On the other side of that truth is that when you communicate unconsciously, unskillfully, or hurtfully, the negative impact is threefold. It affects the person who receives your communication, it affects you, and it affects the relationship.” (9:55 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “If at this moment you are experiencing that negative impact in your life and in your relationships, then the most honorable thing you can do is to reflect on your communication and choose to do the work to learn to communicate differently in ways.” (10:24 | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To take my quiz and identify your self-sabotaging habits click here: https://www.languagealchemy.com/quiz
To listen to podcast #105, Are you Communicating with An Intention or an Agenda? visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148007297
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

132. You Probably Aren’t The Communicator You Think You Are

How well do you believe you communicate?  In this episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka brings to light a compelling aspect of human nature: the tendency to overestimate our communication abilities. This insight prompts a deeper exploration of the discrepancies between what we intend to convey and the actual impact of our words on others.
 
When we think about communication habits that have a negative impact, Alejandra divides these into three levels of awareness: very obvious, less obvious, and subtle. She explores a range of behaviors, including bullying, passive aggression, and interrupting, to the seemingly benign act of giving unsolicited advice. 
 
The episode emphasizes the crucial role of self-awareness in identifying our communication habits. Alejandra encourages listeners to develop curiosity about how their communication tendencies affect those around them and to be mindful of the impact they have.
 
For those who recognize these habits in themselves and seek to enhance their communication, Alejandra offers the opportunity for personalized coaching. By visiting languagealchemy.com/newclient, listeners can embark on a journey of personal growth, learning to communicate with clarity, confidence and compassion.
 
Quotes:
• “Most people believe they communicate better than they actually do.” (3:21 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Many times relationship issues happen because we're not aware of how we are communicating. And specifically, we are not aware of the impact of our communication.” (12:14 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “If you notice you have one or perhaps many of these negative communication habits, congratulations. Yes, now you are having awareness of your communication. And with awareness, you can then have a choice as to what kind of impact you would like your communication to have. (13:06 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “My invitation to you is this, be curious about how you are communicating this week. Notice if you're engaging in one of the very obvious, less obvious, or more subtle communication habits that have a negative impact.” (17:33 | Alejandra Siroka)  
 
Links
To listen to podcast #105, Are you Communicating with An Intention or an Agenda? visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148007297
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

131. Notice How Others Respond To Your Communication: Valuable Feedback

Your communication has a profound influence on the quality of your relationships. In this insightful episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka brings to light the crucial need for awareness in how we communicate, underscoring its power to either strengthen bonds or cause harm.
 
Alejandra explores the multifaceted nature of communication, highlighting that it's not just about the words we use. Aspects such as tone of voice, body language, demeanor, energy, and actions play a significant role. She provides examples to illustrate how different styles of communication can have a range of impacts, from uplifting and positive, to negative and damaging.
 
A key focus of the episode is the delicate balance between intention and impact. Alejandra points out that even with the best intentions, our way of communicating might not always yield a positive effect. She introduces the concept of relational communication, aiming to nourish life and foster connections. This approach centers on cultivating love, authenticity, peace, compassion, equity, and equality in our interactions.
 
To develop a deeper understanding of our communication's impact, Alejandra advises listeners to be observant of others' reactions. She challenges listeners to take on a 7-day exploration and pay close attention to facial expressions, tones, body language, word choices, and actions as responses to our own communication style.
 
For listeners inspired to take their communication skills to the next level, Alejandra extends a special invitation. Whether you're interested in one-on-one coaching for personalized guidance or prefer the collaborative environment of group coaching, Alejandra offers programs tailored to help you improve your communication. These sessions are designed to deepen your understanding and practice of effective, relationship-enhancing communication strategies. To explore these opportunities and begin your journey towards more impactful communication, visit www.languagealchemy.com for more details on her coaching programs.
 
Quotes:
• “Communication from the Language Alchemy perspective encompasses, of course, our verbal language, the words we say, how we say them, our tone of voice, the quality of our voice, our body language, such as facial expressions, gestures, body postures, breath, our energy, that is to say what's going on in our bodies, and our actions and behaviors. All of these make up our communication.” (2:33 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “From the lens of Language Alchemy, the purpose of communication is to contribute to life. The goal is to connect with ourselves and other precious human beings so that we can all thrive together and enjoy the experience of love, authenticity, peace, compassion, equity, and equality.” (8:53 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “During these next seven days, notice how the people in your life respond to your communication and actions. And I'm saying communication and actions here just to be super clear, but remember that from the Language Alchemy perspective, all actions and behaviors are communication. So during the next seven days, notice how the people in your life respond to you.” (14:21 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To listen to podcast #105, Are you Communicating with An Intention or an Agenda? visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148007297
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm