The Language Alchemy Podcast

150. How to Answer Uncomfortable Questions

“Remember, you are safe. And when you remember that, that’s when you connect your choice to answer or not answer the question,” says Alejandra Siroka, as she guides us through addressing uncomfortable questions, a common challenge in communication—in this milestone episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast. Alejandra defines uncomfortable questions as those that cause discomfort due to their personal, intrusive, or judgmental nature. She categorizes these questions into four groups: those that feel too personal, those from close relations that carry judgment, socially biased questions, and everyday questions that may trigger discomfort based on the recipient’s current state.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing that you always have a choice in whether to answer these uncomfortable questions. She advises listeners to first ensure they feel safe and grounded before deciding how to respond. She offers practical strategies: acknowledging the question without answering it, responding with another question to understand the asker’s intent, or providing a sincere answer that reflects one’s true feelings and circumstances. Through these methods, Alejandra aims to empower listeners to respond to uncomfortable questions with authenticity, confidence, clarity, and compassion. 
 
As Alejandra celebrates three years of dedication to providing listeners with tools for conscious communication—enhancing personal growth and relationships—and the podcast’s 150th episode, she invites listeners to join her in marking this milestone with a free, one-hour online party on August 23rd. Join Alejandra as she celebrates this achievement, offering attendees the chance to win various giveaways, including one-on-one coaching sessions and spots in her exclusive programs. To sign up, go to: languagealchemy.com/podcastparty
 
Quotes
“When you receive these questions, remember that you have a choice. Yes, you have the choice to answer or not answer these questions. You’re an adult, and you get to decide. It’s important to remind yourself of this in the moment, especially when you feel uncomfortable, cornered, or pressured. Check your surroundings—why? Because you’re safe. The question may feel uncomfortable and elicit a sense of insecurity, but it will not harm you.” (09:12 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Remember, you are safe. And when you remember that, that’s when you connect your choice to answer or not answer the question. Now, how do you know if you want to answer the question or not? To know whether you want to give a response or none at all, the most important thing you can do is to connect yourself and tune into what you are feeling.” (10:08 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Something else you can do when you receive questions that feel uncomfortable is to give a sincere answer. To do this, you need to know the kind of relationship you have and want to have with the person asking the question. You also need to be aware of your internal state—your feelings, your emotions. Be mindful of your intention for answering the question and, finally, the context in which this interaction is happening. Being aware of all these factors is crucial; otherwise, your answer may be reactive, defensive, habitual, or unconscious—in other words, unhelpful.” (14:28 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To sign up for the free podcast party, go to: languagealchemy.com/podcastparty
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

149. The Language of Healing: Interview with Scott Blossom (Part 2)

Understanding and practicing conscious communication can transform personal relationships and foster holistic healing across physical, emotional, and social dimensions. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her conversation with Scott Blossom, building on the insights shared in episode 148 to delve deeper into the language of healing.
 
This episode explores the power of a shared language within families, revealing how open and honest communication can be a cornerstone of healing. Scott shares a 5-step communication process he uses with his family. This process involves identifying and expressing feelings, taking responsibility for beliefs, and making actionable requests. It fosters a safe and respectful environment, crucial for deep and meaningful conversations, especially during emotionally charged situations.
 
Join Alejandra and Scott to discover how embracing this communication process can enhance your interactions, leading to enlivened relationships, profound healing, and growth.
 
Quotes
“When language is spoken in a way that is relational, it has a different quality and often a more poetic quality. The etymology of the word ‘wisdom’ reveals two primary qualities: guidance and lyricalness. There’s something about wisdom that comes with a quality that enlivens, something from that more poetic side.” (04:50 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“The core piece of the skill is a communication pattern that involves taking responsibility for your role in a conversation about something, especially if there are strong feelings. It has five steps. Before I explain it, I want to mention that the founders took it from other models, of course, but they provide a beautiful educational talk about why they use this approach with kids and why it’s so important for families to learn to have this as a shared language.” (15:07 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“Everything is workable, even if it’s terrible or really hard, and even when there are a lot of big feelings involved. We have a structure that signals to each other, ‘I’m going to follow this because I love you and I want you to feel safe enough to engage with this material that might be super charged from one side or both sides.’” (17:25 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
 
Links
Connect with Scott Blossom:
https://www.doctorblossom.com/
 
Connect with Scott Blossom on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/docblossom
 
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
 
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi
=064dcb42ba8d4706
 
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
 
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
 
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
 
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
 
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
 
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
 
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

148. The Language of Healing: Interview with Dr. Blossom. Part 1

“We’re multidimensional beings. You can’t separate the physical body from the language you happen to think in, or the way that spiritual practices change identity,” explains Dr. Scott Blossom, a respected healer with expertise in traditional Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, yoga somatics, and nutrition. Alejandra Siroka credits Dr. Blossom for profoundly influencing her holistic health journey.
 
In this episode, Alejandra and Dr. Blossom explore the integral role of conscious communication in well-being and collective healing. They discuss how language and self-talk affect physical health through emotional patterns and belief systems, and delve into Ayurvedic principles, particularly the doshas—vata, kapha, and pitta—highlighting how these impact communication styles and emotional tendencies.
 
Dr. Blossom shares personal anecdotes, emphasizing self-awareness and compassionate communication in relationships. He also reflects on his social awakening after George Floyd’s murder and his involvement in White Men for Racial Justice, stressing the need for commitment to social justice and equity.
 
This episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast underscores the transformative power of language in fostering a just and connected society, advocating for understanding historical and social contexts to promote ongoing personal and collective awakening.
 
Quotes
“We’re multidimensional beings. You can’t separate the physical body from the language you think in, or the way that spiritual practices change identity.” (09:35 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“The narrative that you get when you understand what your primary orientation is around the doshas really helps you to anticipate what your particular genius is, what your particular form of balance will look like, and what most likely your forms of imbalance will look like. So, if everything’s balanced out, then just go with the flow, trust. You can really lean into that, but if things are out of balance, you have to actually attenuate. You have to work against the stream that’s carrying you into imbalance. And that narrative sets up a very important story.” (20:28 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“It’s a world that negates the power of history, my ancestry, and the intergenerational forces, which we now know from trauma research has so much power on us. And I love that that’s kind of coming around, like studies around trauma are helping us to see that we’re not just people that landed here. And it’s about us taking what we need and want to make our lives great as if that was the plan because traditional viewpoints are never centered on the individual. They always center the community and in that community they’re centering relationships.” (31:05  | Dr. Scott Blossom)
 
Links
Connect with Dr. Scott Blossom:
https://www.doctorblossom.com/
 
Connect with Dr. Blossom on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/docblossom
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi
=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

147. Irresistible Asks: How to Get a Yes When You Make Requests

“What if there was a way to ask for what you wanted that also considered others? What if you could make requests that others would say yes to out of joy and not out of obligation or manipulation? What if you could express how meaningful it would be for you to get a yes to a wonderful ask?” wonders Alejandra Siroka. In this episode, Alejandra discusses the transformative power of making irresistible asks through conscious and respectful requests.
 
Alejandra addresses the fear of offending others, often leading to avoided confrontations. She suggests framing requests with choice and autonomy, using phrases like “Are you willing?” Drawing from her mentor, Marshall Rosenberg, she shares six key components for effective requests: being clear and specific, making requests doable, being value explicit, making the request time-bound, expressing consideration for the other, and giving choice. These elements of a conscious, irresistible ask can help  avoid getting resistance or pushback.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of clear communication, realistic expectations, and understanding the recipient’s perspective. She encourages listeners to apply these principles to foster clearer, more respectful, and successful interactions, ultimately building stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
 
Quotes
“Part of communicating skillfully has to do with learning to set the conditions to reach your goals and objectives. However, when you use specific language as a means to an end only, especially if that particular end is to benefit you and only you, then we run the risk of disregarding the values and needs of others, which I know is not your intention.” (02:03 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When I talk about communication, I like you to go back to its etymology, which is to find a common place, a point of union. For what? Collaboration. When you ask someone for something, I’d love for you to think about how every time you do that, what you are asking for is an opportunity for you and the other person to collaborate, to join forces, to contribute to something that first and foremost is clear and specific.” (03:27 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Let the other person know that your request is not a demand, but that it’s actually an ask that gives them choice. And it also communicates that you respect their needs, their values, their lives, their schedules, their autonomy.” (19:38 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

146. Supporting Love and Identity in LGBTQ Relationships Through Conscious Communication

“I’m very proud to work with LGBTQ folks and help them find their authentic expression,” says host Alejandra Siroka. In this special episode, Alejandra welcomes returning guests Shannon and Britt, both members of the LGBTQ community, to share their journey of personal growth and evolving communication as a couple.
 
Shannon and Britt recount their unique love story, highlighting the evolution of their identities and relationship dynamics. Britt, who transitioned from identifying as a lesbian to a trans man, and Shannon, a non-binary, pansexual person, discuss how they navigated these changes, including Britt’s gender transition and Shannon’s recovery from addiction.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the power of language in affirming identities. Shannon and Britt reflect on the importance of conscious communication in their relationship, addressing challenges such as toxic masculinity and family acceptance. Their story illustrates how intentional communication and mutual support can foster a deeper, more authentic connection.
 
This episode is a testament to the resilience and adaptability required to maintain a loving relationship amid personal transformation and societal challenges.
 
Quotes
“I’m really happy to see that as we are constantly evolving as a society and a human family, our language is evolving. Our language is becoming more open, more flexible.” (12:36 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Thinking about all the ways in which we use binary gendered language and getting creative is an opportunity to expand our consciousness around our communication.” (27:50 | Shannon Bolt) 
“As we evolve, our language needs to evolve. As we expand, our language needs to expand. As we become more conscious, our language needs to follow suit. As we mature, our language needs to mature with us as well.” (28:52 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Toxic masculinity is a thing and toxic masculinity reacts to men and masculine-type people in different ways than it reacts to women and feminine-type people. There is a certain way that particularly men can respond more aggressively. We’ve seen how Brit has had to adjust his responses to that kind of ‘chest puffing up,’ if you will, because men see him as a man and their willingness to escalate into violence is sometimes just simmering beneath the surface.” (30:51 | Shannon Bolt) 
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

145. Benefits of Relational Versus Transactional Communication

Are your interactions building genuine connections or just checking off boxes? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka delves into the difference between transactional and relational communication, questioning the common belief that communication is solely about achieving personal goals. 
 
Alejandra highlights that transactional communication is often mistaken for clear communication. When we  only focus on the goal of getting what one wants, this leads to transactional exchanges driven by safety and control. She contrasts this type of communication with relational communication, which prioritizes empathy, trust, and collaboration, fostering deeper connections and authentic self-expression. Alejandra shares key insights to help listeners distinguish between these two styles, noting that relational communication delves into intentions and emotions, while transactional communication is goal-oriented and can be superficial.
 
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own communication styles and consider embracing relational communication to cultivate more meaningful relationships.
 
Quotes
“Communication is the foundation for meaningful relationships.” (02:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
“The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships, and the quality of your relationships depend on the quality of your communication. Communication is relational.” (02:25 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“If you communicate with others to experience a meaningful relationship, then when you talk to your teenager, you consider your intention rather than your agenda. And so you reflect before you speak. Why does it bother you so much that your teenager is checking their phone the whole time you’re having dinner together? That’s when you realize that what’s bothering you is not the act itself. It’s the fact that you want to feel the connection with this being who’s growing, oh, so fast… The focus here is on the value of connection and the whole communication revolves around the kind of relationship we want.” (09:44 - 11:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

144. How Communication Shapes Our Mental Health

Mental well-being is a state that enables us to handle stress, recognize our abilities, and contribute to our communities. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explores the important relationship between language and our well being.
 
Unhealthy communication habits such as gaslighting, abusive and dehumanizing language in our interactions can lead to mental health struggles like low-self esteem, depression and anxiety. For a deeper dive into these topics, check out episodes #34 on gaslighting and #120 on dehumanizing language in relationships. 
 
Conversely, empathetic, kind, and supportive communication can promote mental well-being, maintaining healthy relationships and self-perception.
 
To contribute to our own mental well-being and that of those around us, here are five suggestions from Alejandra:
Discuss mental health issues openly and respectfully.
Be aware of your internal dialogue. For communication tools to bring awareness to your internal dialogue, listen to episodes #112 through #117 and episode #120.
Learn to use neutral, empathic, and kind language.
Work with your biases and bring awareness to the messages you inherited and still perpetuate.
Learn to talk about your needs and seek collaboration and support from others when you need it. For more on skillfully communicating needs, listen to episodes #138 through #142.
 
Find all these episodes at www.languagealchemy.com or on your favorite podcast platform.
 
Quotes
“When you think about what it is that we have available with us to make decisions, to build relationships and to shape the world we live in, that’s when you can clearly see that it is our language and how we use our language to communicate that allow us to do all these things. When our mental health is affected, we have trouble functioning in life. So it’s harder for us to make decisions, to develop and maintain satisfying relationships, and to shape our lives in alignment with our vision or our values.” (03:07 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Communication plays a huge role in our mental health and well-being.” (03:48 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Communication has a huge role in mental health as well as in mental illness. The language we use to communicate is so powerful that it can create mental illness, it can maintain mental health, and it can also contribute to bringing healing to our mental condition.” (08:26 | Alejandra Siroka)  
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

143. How Greetings Impact your Personal and Professional Relationships

When you're providing a service, leading a group, or meeting someone in a professional setting, your words, tone of voice, and body language during your initial greeting can establish a foundation for a professional relationship built on confidence, collaboration, and trust. Similarly, the way you greet your loved ones can create positive and memorable experiences, strengthening the bonds with those closest to you. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explores the importance of greetings and their impact on both personal and professional relationships. 
 
Alejandra shares the story of her first meeting with her beloved Matthew's family to illustrate how a heartfelt greeting can build lasting relationships. She compares this personal experience with professional settings like healthcare and yoga, where the way people greet each other can influence impressions of competence and openness.
 
Alejandra provides practical advice on how to consciously choose greetings that cultivate inclusivity and connection. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own greeting habits and consider how small changes in language and demeanor could enhance interactions and relationships.
 
Quotes
• “How we greet someone can impact an interaction and even the whole relationship.” (02:31 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “When you think about it, most relationships start with a greeting. Greetings can set us up for new, wonderful, and fruitful relationships. And of course, greetings can also create the space for hostility, distrust, and unsatisfactory relationships.” (03:05 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Greetings in professional relationships make a huge impact in terms of building trust, confidence, and collaboration from the start.” (06:43 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Something to remember: if you are someone who’s providing a service, leading a group, or meeting someone in a work or professional capacity, is that the words, your tone of voice, and body language with which you greet your client, your patient, your student, your class, your new coworker, can set you up for a professional relationship that inspires confidence, collaboration, and trust. Greetings can also set you up for positive and great experiences with the people closest to you, whether they’re your family or the people you live with.” (10:43 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• “Greetings, which can be just a few words, let others know how present you are with them, how you feel about them, and what kind of relationship you have with them.” (11:45 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

142. How to Empower Others to Communicate Their Needs

How do we support others when they struggle to communicate their needs? In this final episode of her five-part series “Communicating Needs Skillfully,” Alejandra Siroka focuses on empowering individuals to help others, including children and adults, express their needs clearly, directly, and confidently.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of teaching children to connect with and communicate their needs. She points out that these skills are fundamental to building a child's sense of self-worth and value. For parents and caregivers, she suggests practical communication tools addressing children’s emotions to their needs and using story characters to normalize discussions about needs in everyday conversations.
 
Many adults, regardless of gender, face challenges in expressing their needs due to societal conditioning that often discourages direct communication. To help overcome these barriers, Alejandra outlines four helpful strategies: asking open-ended questions that encourage expression of needs, paying attention to body language and tone of voice, affirming the importance of their needs, and celebrating their successes in expressing needs.
 
By sharing transformative communication tools, Alejandra encourages listeners to have patience and persistence in supporting others as they learn to communicate their needs more openly.
 
Quotes
• “When you are in relationships with others who can't communicate their needs openly, freely, and directly to you, that may be because they've been discouraged to communicate their needs, or because they don't feel safe with you, or they don't know how to relax with you and they don't fully trust that you are going to listen to their needs. This impacts the quality of your relationships.” (01:56 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “If you have little ones, you need to be not only aware, but also intentional about teaching them to communicate their needs.” (03:47 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When you teach children how to connect to and communicate their needs out loud, you are also teaching them that they're valuable and that they matter.” (06:58 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “A loving thing you can do consistently is to be explicit in telling them that their needs matter to you, that their needs are important.” (11:01 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Be patient with others when they don't know how to communicate their needs directly, clearly, or confidently. And if you've had some success with someone and they were able to communicate a couple of needs to you, that doesn't mean that expressing their needs will be easy from now on. This takes time.” (13:00  | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

141. Direct Your Attention on These 4 Elements When Communicating Needs Skillfully

Are you finding it challenging to communicate your needs clearly without coming across as inconsiderate? Alejandra Siroka continues her series on "Communicating Needs Skillfully" and uncovers how to express needs in a way that they can be heard and honored by others.
 
Alejandra asserts that when communication stems from a sense of self-worth and a sincere desire for mutual understanding, it naturally takes on a warm and inviting tone—a tone that significantly impacts the listener's perception of the message and their openness to addressing the expressed needs. She shares four essential elements that need to be present when we communicate our needs skillfully:
 
Conscious Intentions - Our intentions shape our tone of voice and influence the message's reception.
Mindful Selection of Words - Alejandra advises against using language that blames, accuses, or manipulates. Instead, she gives a tip to assess how those words might be received by others.
Communicating Values - Expressing the values behind our needs can enhance the listener's willingness to hear and support our needs.
Expressing Needs without Attachment to Outcome - Alejandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing that others are not responsible for meeting our needs. She highlights the necessity of being creative when it comes to meeting our own needs.
 
If you understand the importance of communicating your needs but struggle to put it into practice, Alejandra can provide personalized assistance. She offers an invitation to join the Language Alchemy Group Coaching program starting this month. This three-month journey is designed to enhance your communication skills with tailored support. It's an ideal opportunity for those seeking personal growth and healthier relationships by addressing communication goals and challenges.
 
Quotes
• “If your intention is grounded in showing up as a human being who's worthy, not entitled, but worthy of collaboration and contribution, then your tone of voice will naturally be warm and inviting. It will communicate to the other person that your needs are something positive.” (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "Intention is crucial because even though you will not be expressing your intention out loud, your intention is going to be communicated in your tone of voice." (05:36 | Alejandra Siroka)
• "When you let the other person know how, by supporting your needs, they are contributing to something important for you, the other person is more likely not only to hear your needs, but also to be willing and happy to support them. Because they're hearing loud and clear that they will be contributing to something valuable." (14:22 | Alejandra Siroka) 
• "When we are in conscious relationships with others, We understand that other people are not responsible for meeting our needs. We are responsible for meeting our needs." (15:12 | Alejandra Siroka) 
 
Links
To have group coaching with Alejandra, visit:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm