The Language Alchemy Podcast

16. Cancel culture online is hurting us all

Communication on social media has the potential to be frustrating or painful, which is why this is the third episode in a row devoted to the topic. We looked at interpersonal dialogue in episode 14, and inner dialogue in episode 15, so now it’s time to examine cancel culture.
You may be surprised to find out the origins of cancel culture don’t have anything to do with social media!
Although it doesn’t have recent beginnings, there are several factors in our modern lives that have caused an explosion of cancel or “call out” culture. I’ll tell you what those factors are and how you can help reduce them in your life.
Looking through the Language Alchemy lens, social media communication offers us the opportunity to develop capacity for a more humane, humble, and bridge-building type of dialogue.
I’m sharing three steps you can take before you decide to cancel someone.
Takeaways from this episode:
Cancel culture didn’t originate in the age of social media.
Communicating over the computer, where we can see only a small profile picture of someone, diminishes the humanity we feel towards them.
There are three things you could do before deciding to cancel someone. 
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LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Episode 14, which focuses on the use of social media and your interpersonal communication:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147613127
Listen to Episode 15, where I delve into the dynamics between social media and our internal dialogue:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147618163
Learn about Anita Bright’s work ‘Calling In, Not Calling Out: A Critical Race Framework for Nurturing Cross-Cultural Alliances’:
https://www.igi-global.com/chapter/calling-in-not-calling-out/163988
Download the FREE 5 steps to redirect your reactivity, which includes a BONUS section about how to communicate on social media:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/5steps
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

15. How much can social media impact your inner dialogue? A lot.

As you scroll through social media, do you sometimes feel stress, frustration, and pain when you see certain posts? In episode 14, we considered interpersonal social media communication, but what about when posts elicit inner divisiveness?
In this episode I’ll talk about the relationship between social media and your inner dialogue. I’ll share some things we tend to hear in our heads when we read certain posts, and I’ll offer you some reframes so that you can enjoy your engagement with social media.
This episode is an invitation to be mindful about the way you communicate with yourself when you’re on your favorite social media platforms!
To guide you, I share three tips that can help you connect back to yourself.
Takeaways from this episode:
How we think that social media impacts our inner dialogue
The real source of inner divisiveness, disconnection, and pain in our internal dialogue
Three tips that will help you create healthy boundaries with social media. 
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Episode 14, which focuses on the use of social media and your interpersonal communication:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147613127
Download the FREE 5 steps to redirect your reactivity, which includes a BONUS section about how to communicate on social media:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/5steps
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

14. Facebook is not the problem. We are

Are you using social media with awareness, or are you allowing it to foster divisiveness and pain?
Facebook specifically has been in the news recently regarding the way it’s platform promotes polarizing content.
At the same time, we can’t dismiss our own choices when it comes to what we post and comment. We share part of the responsibility for creating an environment of collaboration, kindness, and understanding.
I’m sharing three things you can do immediately to move away reactive communication that furthers divisiveness.
If you’re listening in real time, there are just a couple more days to join my 6 week online course Choosing True Connection. Doors close October 21st! Go to languagealchemy.com/enroll for more information and to join.
Takeaways from this episode:
Communicating through social media without awareness can cause stress and disconnection.
Content that incentivizes toxicity spreads in viral ways on these platforms.
Learn three things you can do right now to promote connection instead.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Episode 13, which focuses on triggers, habitual communication and how you can practice the solutions to avoid disconnect when you get triggered:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147609370
Download the FREE 5 steps to redirect your reactivity, which includes a BONUS section about how to communicate on social media:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/5steps
Sign up to the 6-week online course ‘Choosing True Connection’, Registration closes soon!
https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

13. You get triggered... and then?

Despite what you may have heard before, getting triggered is not a bad thing and I’ll show you how in this episode. I’ll talk about how when you get to know your triggers and trigger reactions well, you can actually get closer to cultivating peace, connection, or love.You’ll hear about the three important things we must acknowledge about triggers and how we respond to them.And by the end of the episode, you’ll have three tools to work with your triggers.Takeaways from this episode:
A different perspective about getting triggered
What it really means to “get triggered” and the three things we must acknowledge about it.
The three tools you have access to use right away to work with your triggers
If you are ready to go deeper and have new thoughts, behaviors, and communications, check out the 6-week online course I’m teaching called Choosing True Connection. Info here - https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: 
Learn more about Angeles Arrien:
http://www.angelesarrien.com/
Download the FREE 5 steps to redirect your reactivity:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/5steps
Sign up to the 6-week online course ‘Choosing True Connection’, Registration closes soon!
https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

12. Communication shutdowns: cause, effects, and an effective remedy

Are there times when you don’t know what to say?
Maybe you stay quiet and end up feeling bad later because you missed a chance to say something meaningful. If you have this experience, or know people who do, you’ll find this episode helpful.
When you lose your ability to say something, you go into communication shut down and later spend a lot of energy rehashing those conversations in your head. It can be exhausting.
This habit is a somatic reaction in your body. I’m going to teach you the three systems that are affected and explain the one reason they shut down in those moments.

Along the way, we’ll look at a few stories about this type of communication shutdown through the Language Alchemy lens, so you can see different ways it shows up in our relationships.
The good news is that I have a remedy you can use right away to help counteract this trigger reaction. And I also have a deeper way of working with communication shutdowns in the 6-week online course called Choosing True Connection. I’m inviting you to join me and let me teach you how you can have the ability to find your voice in the moments that matter the most!
Takeaways from this week’s episode:
Communication shutdown is a freeze reaction in three systems of your body.
The one reason your body freezes up at those times.
A remedy you can use to recover from this trigger.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Sign up to the 6-week online course ‘Choosing True Connection’, Registration closes soon!
https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

11. What ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ actually communicates

Do you avoid conversations that, while important, may also be uncomfortable?
When you do, you may use phrases such as “I don’t want to talk about that” or “Now is not the time.”
When we say or do things to not talk about something important, you create disconnection.
Often, we don’t even realize the ways we are avoiding connection because it has become your habitual way to communicate.
However, you are an adult and you have a choice as to how you want to show up in your relationships
Takeaways from this episode:
There are several ways we use habitual communication to avoid conversations.
When we choose to disconnect in this way, it has a negative impact on the recipient.
There’s one thing you can do right now and choose connection instead.
If you’re listening in real time, the doors to my 6-week online course Choosing True Connection are now open! Register at languagealchemy.com/enroll
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Sign up to the free masterclass ‘Unlocking the Mystery of true connection’:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/masterclass
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

10. Are you attacking others without even knowing it?

You know that using language to attack others creates disconnection, separation, and divisiveness. What you may not have considered much is that attacking comes in many forms. Would you like to know if you are engaging in one of them?
I’m going to share with you various forms of the two main ways we attack others with language to help you raise your awareness about the use of your language that may be creating disconnection.
With real life examples from my coaching clients, I’ll show you how these attacks may show up.
We’ll also look into the not-so-obvious trigger behind each and every one of these forms of attack.
At the end of the episode, the question I’ll leave you with is this: “how will you choose to communicate - will you choose a way that creates connection or disconnection?” I sincerely hope you choose connection.
Takeaways from this episode:
There are two main ways we attack others with language.
Each way of attacking has various forms; some of them are so subtle you may not be even aware of them.
Every attack stems from the same underlying trigger.
Attacking others creates disconnection, but we have the power to choose communication that creates connection instead.
To learn more about true connection, reserve your seat in my free masterclass: languagealchemy.com/masterclass
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LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Sign up to the free masterclass ‘Unlocking the Mystery of true connection’:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/masterclass
Episode 7. The impact of using labels in communication
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147576483
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

9. How to quiet down your inner critic to live in true connection with yourself and others

Your inner critic is that voice you hear in your head that tells you that you’re not good enough, capable enough, smart, or brave. This inner critic will keep you stuck and disconnected - unless you transform this internal communication so you can thrive.
Today, we’re going to unpack where this inner critic starts and how it becomes so ingrained in our psyche.
I’ll share two stories demonstrating the impact our inner critic can have in our life, one from Trevor Noah’s book Born A Crime and the other one from one of my coaching clients.
What’s the answer to helping this inner critic quiet down? I’ll tell you an alchemical step you can take right away to lessen the influence of your inner critic.
Takeaways from this episode:
Our inner critic learns its labels from the people in our younger life.
You can transform that inner critic to experience freedom and connection.
True connection is a universal human need, not something reserved for a lucky few.
To learn more about true connection, reserve your seat in my free masterclass: languagealchemy.com/masterclass
---
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Sign up to the free masterclass ‘Unlocking the Mystery of true connection’:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/masterclass
Episode 7. The impact of using labels in communication
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147576483
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI

8. Q&As: How to Speak your Truth, Bias & Judgement

Do you wonder how to uncover your own “true self” that is often spoken about?
Are you unsure how to handle biases in your own thoughts or others attacking you with words?
I will answer these two questions brought so generously by listeners Britt and Angel.
Our first question was sent in by Britt - “I don't understand how you're supposed to know your true self or your truth. How do you do this?”
Beautiful question! I want you to explore a few specific areas of your thoughts and I have an example from my own life to illustrate why.
Our second question came as a voice message from Angel. It breaks down into two parts - “How do you stop your own biases and judgements before you speak? When someone else is expressing a bias towards you, attacking you with their words, how do you stay in the conversation instead of running away from it?
What a mature question, Angel, thank you for asking it. I have an exercise that will help you separate the biases that serve you from those that create disconnection as well as a suggestion that can transform your communication when someone is verbally attacking you.
Takeaways from this episode:
Sharing your questions is an act of generosity to others who may be having the same struggle in their communication. Enter your questions here.
It is possible to uncover our true self by digging through parts of our identity given to us by others.
Bringing biases from habitual to conscious thinking will allow us to decide if they are helpful or create disconnection.
Practical advice for what to do during a challenging conversation.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 6. Why communication is the foundation of everything you want in life
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147576478
Episode 7. The impact of using labels in communication
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147576483
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
http://www.garylapow.com/about_gary_lapow.html
Podcast Produced by:
The Podcast Space, LLC

7. The impact of using labels in your communication

Labels are one of the most disconnecting language devices in our communication. It’s important to watch out for them if you want to build true connection in your interactions.
Today, I want to raise your awareness of the presence of labels in your own life.
Some labels are vocalized, while others are felt even if no words are spoken. Either way, they could be dangerous.
Even labels that sound positive could be disconnecting, not just the negative ones.
We need to remove both the labels we have learned to give others and the ones we use for ourselves.
Takeaways from this episode:
Labels that are internalized can have a lifelong impact on us.
I share an exercise to begin to see where you use labels.
Notice how labels increase or decrease your sense of connection.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 6:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147576478
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
http://www.garylapow.com/about_gary_lapow.html
Podcast Produced by:
The Podcast Space, LLC