The Language Alchemy Podcast

31. The 5 Love languages, and the one caveat you need to be aware of

Valentine’s Day is a celebration many people either love or hate. Others may feel indifferent – or prefer to observe “Single’s Awareness Day” instead!
Personally, I believe it’s important to have a day when millions of people express their love to those they care about.
Maybe it’s through a hug or kiss.
Maybe it’s through a gift, like a box of chocolates or jewelry.
Maybe it’s through preparing a meal or helping with the chores.
Maybe it’s watching a movie together.
Or maybe it’s sharing the phrase “I love you” through a card, phone call, or simply, sweetly stated aloud.
These different ways of sharing love are examples of the 5 love languages, pioneered and popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.
Physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation are all helpful ways to communicate love. They’re also helpful to recognize in your partner so you’re aware of their expression of love.
This discussion will help you identify your (and your partner’s) love language to create a lasting connection. That way, you can better see and appreciate the love around you and the many forms it takes.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Be aware of and communicate to your partner that you recognize their expression of love for you.
- Avoid using the 5 love languages to blame your partner for not using your preferred love language. This can create unnecessary disconnection and devalues the way your partner shows love.
- Love comes from within. If you want to feel loved, you need to notice all the ways in which you are loved rather than imposing on your environment.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
5 Love Languages:https://www.5lovelanguages.com/learnConnect with me on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

30. The way through pain is compassion in your communication

I find that it’s easier to connect to a concept when I delve into the origin of the word.
The word “compassion” is a Latin word meaning, “to be with the pain of another.”
Think about what that means. At first, the idea of taking on another’s pain may not sound appealing. Yet, compassion brings people together.
When we communicate with compassion, we can understand others in their trouble; we can make space for others and experience connection.
Compassion is one of the 3 elements of transformative communication, along with clarity and confidence. In this episode, I’m focusing on compassion and how it not only bridges communication and understanding, but elevates our humanity.
My sincere hope is that you’ll unpack the idea of compassion by learning the types of pain and identifying them in yourself. You’ll also understand the benefits of opening your heart to others in a meaningful way.
You - and others in your life - deserve it. 
Takeaways from this episode:
- When we avoid confronting our pain (and the pain of others), it turns into resentment, grievance, or judgment. This in turn, generates the experience of divisiveness and disconnection.
- Compassion opens our hearts to others, allowing us to connect in a meaningful way that prevents shame and judgment from existing.
- It’s easier to understand others’ pain when you understand the pain residing within yourself.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 1 of 3 my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion:
28. Want less conflict in your relationships?
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147674877
Episode 2 of 3 of my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147678087
Connect with me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy 
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

29. Do you struggle with others not trusting you? You may not sound confident enough!

This is the second part in my 3-part series on the qualities of transformative communication. In episode 28 we discussed communicating with clarity. Now we’re building upon it to discuss:
-How to understand when you or others aren’t communicating with confidence
-The benefits of communicating with confidence
-2 action items to cultivate confidence in your communication
Communicating with confidence is vital to living authentically. Many people are aware of this.
In fact, 99.9% of people who ask for my support with communication coaching need help communicating confidently. Oftentimes, however, people don’t even realize that’s what they need.
Communicating with confidence involves more than you may think.It isn’t just about the words you say.
There’s a huge nonverbal component, and that energy comes across to the listener when you lack confidence.
The word “confidence” comes from Latin, and it means “to be with faith or to trust.”
Have you noticed when someone sounds nervous it’s as if they don’t trust themselves? Their words lack authority and conviction.
The same happens when your voice doesn’t convey confidence; it’s hard for others to have faith in you.
Takeaways from this episode:
-The more you know about your communication, the more you’ll know what to continue - and the more clarity you’ll have about what you need to learn.
-When you lack confidence, you can feel it in your body. Be aware of those sensations and take a deep breath to transform your nerves.
-When you’re able to communicate with confidence, others are generally more willing to listen, follow, and support you.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 1 of 3 my series about how to Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion:
28. Want less conflict in your relationships?
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147674877
Connect with me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/languagealchemy
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

28. Want less conflict in your relationships?

“Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion.”
This is the tagline for Language Alchemy, and it’s also a recipe for communication success. When you not only commit it to memory, but put it into practice, you’ll find it easier to meaningfully connect with others.
If you’re wondering where to begin, I first recommend you focus on clarity.
Speaking clearly sounds deceptively simple. However, it requires a level of empathy for your listener and an ability to see your words from different angles. How might other people perceive what you said?
Once you’re aware of unclear language, then you must become aware of how to interrupt your unhelpful communication patterns.
Thankfully, there are guidelines to avoiding these pitfalls.
This is part 1 of a 3-part series on communicating with clarity, confidence, and compassion. These make the foundation of effective communication, and you’ll see that as you examine each element and put them into practice.
When you practice clarity in particular, you'll experience smoother, more peaceful interactions in your relationships.
Takeaways from this episode:
-If communication is unclear, it leaves room for misunderstanding – and misunderstandings are the shortcut to conflict.
-Being specific helps you communicate with clarity.
-When communicating, lead with your intention: Why do you want to say what you want to say?
- Unclear communication leads to inefficiency. It can lead to confusion and unnecessary back and forth communication.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

27. Turning Vulnerability Into Connection: An Inspiring True Story

As Brené Brown once said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
But vulnerability may not always come easily – it relies on our ability to be honest with ourselves and share that honesty with others.
Without sharing our truth, we can’t form authentic connections.
My client, Jared, experienced a transformative communication journey where he realized just how true this is. Before working with me, he bounced from relationship to relationship. As a form of self-sabotage, he backed away from every meaningful relationship he had.
In working on his communication, he learned that coping mechanisms in his childhood played a role in his actions today. To be strong, he felt he needed to suppress his feelings - to the eventual detriment of his relationships.
Today I’m proud of the progress he’s made. By learning to be vulnerable and honest, he’s been able to nurture communication that has helped in all areas of his life, even helping double his sales quota at work.
You’ll see that his story is an inspiring example of what’s possible when you create an intention to enhance your communication.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Your friends may be reinforcing your self-sabotaging patterns in an effort to be supportive. Be aware that they may not be supporting your growth.
- There will always be new situations, new people and new opportunities requiring you to learn something new about communication and work on your listening.
- Challenge yourself to tackle a difficult conversation requiring vulnerability each day. Usually it will turn into connection, and that practice reinforces the power of vulnerability and makes it easier each time.
- The word “courage” comes from middle French, from coeur or heart. When you lead from the heart in communication, you're being vulnerable.
--- 
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Check out Episode 25: The 6-step process that will help you stay true to your New Year’s intentions:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147661663 
Download The Proven Roadmap to Sustainably Bring Forth Your New Year's Intentions:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/followthrough
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

26. What happens when you make and fulfill the intention to learn to communicate from the heart?

It’s easy to describe why and how communication can help you in general terms. But what really paints a picture is hearing firsthand how someone nurtured their communication skills and what they gained from the experience.
One great example comes from a client I’ve had the honor to guide. Denise DeLuca is a yoga and meditation teacher, mother and grandmother who seeks to communicate her heart.
She explains her motivations for her communication work and how it has enhanced her daily spiritual practice, as well as helped set her intentions for the new year.
If you’re focusing on enhancing your communication this year, it’s an honorable intention – you’ll see that in Denise’s story.
After all, forging connections with others is a valuable exercise that eases collaboration and greater understanding.
My sincere hope is that her words will inspire you to consider your own intentions. Maybe you’ll see some qualities in her story that you’d like to bring forth in your own interactions.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Try communicating from the heart, with a sense of openness and receptivity.
- Truly listening to another person means you’re not in your head planning responses – it means you’re present.
- Approach communication as a student: constantly learning, refining, and showing up to new experiences without a script or formula.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Check out The 6-step process that will help you stay true to your New Year’s intentions
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147661663 
Episode 24. What are your communication intentions for the new year?
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147652632
Download The Proven Roadmap to Sustainably Bring Forth Your New Year's Intentions:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/followthrough
To learn more about Denise DeLuca and her workshops, please visit:
https://www.denisedeluca.com 
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

25. The 6-step process that will help you stay true to your New Year’s intentions

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution only to see your effort fade as the months pass?
Maybe that little voice inside your head talked you out of reaching your goals. (“I don’t have time to run anymore because work is too busy.”)
That voice can become assertive and convincing, and eventually win you over – causing you to feel relief when you quit.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Fortunately, there’s a helpful approach.
Just as words can talk you out of goals, conscious words can also keep you focused.
Reframing your resolution as an intention is a strong first step to converting your inward desires into a desired outcome.
You’ll see why the traditional view of resolutions may not yield success, and how my 6-step process can set you on the path toward the fruitful year you planned.
Takeaways from this episode:
Your internal dialogue can make or break your goals. The distracting voice in your head may seem supportive, but it may also become subtle self-sabotage.
When resolutions seem too big and unreachable, surrendering to the voice of temptation releases pressure. That’s why it’s important to reframe wishes and follow incremental steps to achieve them.
Understand why realizing your intention will enhance your life and how to measure your success.
Accountability increases your chance of reaching goals. Engage people to help you along your journey and meet regularly.  
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 24. What are your communication intentions for the new year?
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147652632
Download The Proven Roadmap to Sustainably Bring Forth Your New Year's Intentions:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/followthrough
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

24. What are your communication intentions for the new year?

Having a New Year’s resolution is a popular ritual, especially one involving a new hobby, habit, or skill. This year, I’m inviting you to go deeper and try something different.
Can you envision yourself setting an intention with how you communicate in the new year?
From my experiences, both personally and from working with clients, I’ve witnessed the beautiful benefits that are possible when you focus your energy on your communication.
If you aren’t sure what it means to set a communication intention, listen to the examples I share, grab a journal and answer the 4 questions I have for you.
These 4 questions can guide you to start the new year with renewed awareness about your communication.
Takeaways from this episode:
Setting an intention with communication in this new year can transform your life.
Why it’s important to consider your communication intentions with others.
Four questions you can journal about or reflect on to find your own communication intention.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Want to shift a family dynamic? Sign up below
https://www.languagealchemy.com/opt-in-8f58d8f6-e042-4ee3-8594-ba11bf3273cc
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

23. Communicating with children with grace during the stressful holiday season

How can we communicate to children during the holidays regarding their behavior, gifts they may be receiving, and family rituals can have a lasting effect on their life.
Caroline Griswold joins me in this episode to help parents learn how to find joy and connection when communicating with their children. Caroline is a parenting coach who is passionate about facilitating respectful communication between parents and children from birth.
There are many messages around the possibility of gifts that children hear during the holidays. A very common message is “if you behave, you’ll get a special gift.” Sharing a sweet story about her own son, Caroline charts a different way to handle gifts while avoiding that “if.”
For parents, support and empathy from others is so important while navigating the full-time job of providing unconditional love to their family.
Rituals and traditions are one way to nourish the love for our children and family during the holidays. They are an opportunity to infuse warmth and togetherness into the hearts of your children! In time, these can become formative and precious memories for the rest of their lives.
But, how do we balance some of the more magical traditions through a respectful parenting lens? Well, Caroline shares some communication tools for that.
Takeaways from this episode:
Parents are the first communication teachers in the lives of their children, and the messaging they choose has a lasting impact.
Avoid linking behavior to the receiving of gifts.
Parents can use ritual and tradition to bring magic to the season while still following developmentally respectful parenting practices.
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
For further exploration, please visit:
Episode 5. Ways to cultivate connection with children and stressed out parents:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147575436
Sign up for Caroline’s Newsletter Parenting Pause through the link below: www.fertilegroundparenting.com/parentingpause
Download Caroline’s Essential Respectful Discipline Toolbox: https://www.fertilegroundparenting.com/respectful-discipline-toolbox
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.

22. How to talk about grief

Grief can impact us all during the holiday season. The collective grief we’ve been experiencing during this global pandemic has been unprecedented in our lifetime.
And even though we all experience grief or know someone who’s going through it, we don’t really know how to talk about it.
Do we use words like loss, passing, dying, or what? Do we way we’re okay when clearly we are in mourning?
In this episode, I invited grief expert Lee Pollak to teach us to talk about grief. Lee’s been a licensed clinical social worker in the Bay Area for over 30 years, working in the fields of grief care, trauma, and loss.
In our conversation, Lee shares powerful insights about grief during the holidays, drawing on her own personal losses as well as her interactions with clients over the years.
Lee encourages us to learn to talk about grief with empathy, sincerity, and frequency. When someone’s grieving and no one’s speaking about it, the mourner feels isolated and the grief can linger and remain unresolved.
If you’re grieving, what do you say when someone asks you at the grocery store how you are? What do you say to an acquaintance? How about a friend?
And what do you say to someone who tells you they are grieving?
Both Lee and I give examples of our own experiences being the mourner or the person who receives the information from someone that they are mourning.
Of course, Lee also shares what not to say because sometimes we can inadvertently put the responsibility on the mourner who is already feeling great sorrow.
We talk about the role of curiosity and culture when it comes to normalizing grief.
We also discuss the idea of memorial rituals during the holidays, in acknowledgement of those who are physically absent but always in our heart. And Lee gives some suggestions about the kind of rituals you may want to initiate to remember the loved ones who died.
Takeaways from this episode:
This year the holidays feel different, and it’s important to raise our awareness and have the language to acknowledge this out loud
Communicating about grief and about those who died is a way to connect with those who are grieving so they don’t feel isolated
Tapping into grief as a way of tapping into love
Consider starting a ritual in memory of those loved ones
--- LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
For further exploration, please visit:
Learn more about the Professional Grief Caregivers’ Network, which Lee founded:
https://jewishhealingcenter.org/for-rabbis-professional-caregivers/grief-caregivers-network/
For more resources about communication, go to:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/blogandvideo
To ask your communication questions, click here:
https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To join the mailing list, visit:
www.languagealchemy.com
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI
Produced by The Podcast Space, LLC.