159. Key Communication Skills for a Happy Marriage

“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, ‘What would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation?’ When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” shares Danyelle Pollock, as she reflects on the intentional work it takes to grow together in a relationship.

 

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with Danyelle and Tristan Pollock, who share their insights on how to grow in your marriage and thrive in your relationship through conscious communication. They talk about overcoming patterns shaped by their past, finding tools to navigate conflicts, and building stronger connections through shared understanding. What does it take to turn disagreements into opportunities for growth? How do you support each other while honoring your individual needs? 

 

From their early days of dating to their experience as parents and world travelers, Danyelle and Tristan show us how intentional communication has become a cornerstone of their relationship. Their story offers invaluable lessons for couples looking to deepen their connection while navigating the challenges of life together.

 

Quotes

• “We had to really double-click on how each other were feeling, and that it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to have conflict... We really had to learn that disagreements are okay, and it’s how we learn and we grow together. It’s how we start to understand each other on a deeper level.” (08:50 | Danyelle Pollock)
• “Parenting… also gets you a lot of practice before it starts to get to a point where [our daughter’s] a teenager and you need to be extra cautious on how you’re hearing her and acknowledging her. And so, I think it’s been great work for us because when we started acknowledging how she felt instead of trying to solve it immediately, if she was sad or upset, we’d say, ‘Oh, so you want to do this?’ And then she’d be like, ‘Yeah,’ and it would almost stop her sadness instantly because she just felt heard. She felt like we knew what she was saying; we understood.” (22:48 | Tristan Pollock)
• “I feel like mistakes are inevitable. It’s just more of a commitment to growth and being able to share how you would have liked to do it. And next time, hopefully it goes better. Mistakes happen. Being open-minded and lessening judgment is one of the values. We have four values up on our fridge that we’re trying to use as a general guideline as we're building a family and how we want to think about things, and I think that’s the big one too. We’re here because we want to be, and we want to be better.” (26:04 | Tristan Pollock)
• “I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, what would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation? When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” (26:46 | Danyelle Pollock)

 

Links

Connect with Danyelle & Tristan Pollock:

https://www.tristanpollock.com/ 

https://www.heywedidthat.com/

 

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