147. Irresistible Asks: How to Get a Yes When You Make Requests

“What if there was a way to ask for what you wanted that also considered others? What if you could make requests that others would say yes to out of joy and not out of obligation or manipulation? What if you could express how meaningful it would be for you to get a yes to a wonderful ask?” wonders Alejandra Siroka. In this episode, Alejandra discusses the transformative power of making irresistible asks through conscious and respectful requests.

 

Alejandra addresses the fear of offending others, often leading to avoided confrontations. She suggests framing requests with choice and autonomy, using phrases like “Are you willing?” Drawing from her mentor, Marshall Rosenberg, she shares six key components for effective requests: being clear and specific, making requests doable, being value explicit, making the request time-bound, expressing consideration for the other, and giving choice. These elements of a conscious, irresistible ask can help  avoid getting resistance or pushback.

 

Alejandra emphasizes the importance of clear communication, realistic expectations, and understanding the recipient’s perspective. She encourages listeners to apply these principles to foster clearer, more respectful, and successful interactions, ultimately building stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

 

Quotes

• “Part of communicating skillfully has to do with learning to set the conditions to reach your goals and objectives. However, when you use specific language as a means to an end only, especially if that particular end is to benefit you and only you, then we run the risk of disregarding the values and needs of others, which I know is not your intention.” (02:03 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When I talk about communication, I like you to go back to its etymology, which is to find a common place, a point of union. For what? Collaboration. When you ask someone for something, I’d love for you to think about how every time you do that, what you are asking for is an opportunity for you and the other person to collaborate, to join forces, to contribute to something that first and foremost is clear and specific.” (03:27 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Let the other person know that your request is not a demand, but that it’s actually an ask that gives them choice. And it also communicates that you respect their needs, their values, their lives, their schedules, their autonomy.” (19:38 | Alejandra Siroka)

 

Links

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To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme

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To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion

To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone

To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples

To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient

To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy

Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm