The Language Alchemy Podcast

163. Stop Rehashing Conversations in Your Head. Do this 6-step Practice Instead

The way we communicate isn’t just about what we say. It’s about the courage to ask how our words land and the impact they leave behind.
 
Alejandra Siroka explores the power of checking in on the impact of our words, not to seek validation, but to show care and build trust. She shares a personal story about a conversation with a friend, whose intentional follow-up turned a potentially difficult discussion into a moment of deeper understanding. Through this, Alejandra reveals how a willingness to ask, ‘How did my words land with you?’ can transform the way we communicate.
 
This episode introduces the “Impact Check-in Practice,” a six-step approach designed to help you create a safe space for honest dialogue, listen without defensiveness, and express genuine care. Alejandra breaks it down into practical steps you can apply in conversations with friends, colleagues, and even those who see the world differently.
 
Alejandra leaves listeners with a challenge: reach out to three people you’ve had meaningful conversations with and check in on how your words affected them. The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to open the door for real connection, growth, and understanding.
 
Quotes
“One of the most profound acts of love we can offer another person is to circle back with them and ask, ‘How did my words impact you?’” (01:39 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Checking in about our impact is a form of love, of communicating love out loud.” (02:14 | Alejandra Siroka)
“This practice isn’t about being perfect or about receiving validation. It’s about being present, about creating a deeper sense of connection and being committed to growing as a conscious human being.” (11:22 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Every time you check in about impact, you’re not just building stronger relationships. You are contributing to a more empathic and understanding world.” (15:57 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
Impact Check In Free Reference Guide: LanguageAlchemy.com/impactcheckin
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

162. 312, A Useful Practice When You Get Reactive

“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world,” says Kelly Blaser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Dharma Bridge and Soma Psychotherapy. In this episode, Kelly joins Alejandra Siroka to explore how compassionate self-inquiry can help us uncover the deeper layers of who we are. What happens when we stop running from discomfort and instead meet ourselves with curiosity? Kelly shares her 312 practice, a simple and useful tool to interrupt self-critical voices and invite a more compassionate inner dialogue.
 
Through relatable examples and insights, Kelly invites us to consider: How much of our identity is shaped by old stories, and how can we begin to loosen their grip? Join Kelly and Alejandra’s conversation to get gentle guidance for navigating anxiety, self-judgment, and the moments of stillness where healing begins.
 
Quotes
“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world.” (06:22 | Kelly Blaser)
“My teacher used to say, ‘You are not a monolith. You think you’re a monolith. You’re not a monolith.’ We’re actually composed of distinct personalities. She originally called it subpersonalities. She doesn’t use that language anymore. If you see a part of yourself arise that’s reactive, that is experiencing shame, that is experiencing some kind of suffering, then it’s very helpful to have a way to distance yourself from that part without bypassing that part.” (14:59 | Kelly Blaser)
“What this practice is really the best at doing is interrupting ruminative, self-critical voices. So then when you think about a person who acts out in a big way and what is the moment where they’re most likely to be in ruminative, self-critical voices, it’s probably not while the tension is building prior to the explosion. It’s probably afterwards.” (18:45 | Kelly Blaser)
“Witness consciousness can help because then it takes away some of the barriers to feeling because we don’t take it so seriously if we can see ourselves from the outside. And so, then, we can kind of inquire, what does it feel like in this body? What’s circulating around here?” (26:06 | Kelly Blaser)
 
Links
Connect with Kelly Blaser:Dharma Bridge https://dharmabridge.net/
Kelly Blaser https://kellyblaser.com/
Soma Psychotherapy https://www.somapsychotherapy.com/yoga
2025 Power of Meditation Summit: https://kelly-blaser.mykajabi.com/a/2148010679/zBQLdFd8
 
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

161. Safety and Connection: The Heart of Every Relationship

“Connection is present in a relationship when we feel accepted as we are.”
 
What makes relationships thrive? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares the two values she believes are at the heart of every meaningful relationship: safety and connection. Drawing from her personal experiences and years of coaching, Alejandra shows us how these values shape the way we interact and build trust with others. 
 
Alejandra shares a childhood story that points out how connection can repair even the most tender moments of conflict. What does it mean to feel safe in a relationship? She explains that safety goes beyond physical security, touching on emotional and cultural freedom, while connection fulfills our deep human need to belong and feel understood.
 
Through relatable examples, Alejandra explores how these values show up differently for everyone. Why do some people crave reassurance while others withdraw under pressure? Understanding your primary relational value can unlock more harmonious, long-lasting and authentic relationships.
 
Alejandra offers practical tools to reflect on your core values and begin transforming your communication patterns. This episode is an invitation to approach yourself and others with more compassion. Tune in to discover how safety and connection can nurture relationships that truly feel alive.
 
Quotes
“Safety and connection are the primary colors from which all other relational values are painted.” (05:33 | Alejandra Siroka)
“In essence, when we talk about safety in relationships, we talk about the freedom to move, be, and express ourselves without having to protect any aspect of ourselves from the other person.” (06:59 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Connection is present in the joy we feel when someone truly gets us, in the comfort of feeling listened to, in the delight we experience when someone celebrates us or something that is important to us.” (07:26 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Once the couples I coach understand their partner’s primary core relational value, they uncover a whole new way of seeing, understanding, and communicating with their partners.” (13:42 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If someone feels unsafe or disconnected from you, remember that 99% of the time, it’s not about you. It’s about their past experiences and learned responses that have become communication patterns.” (17:55 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
Group Coaching: https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

160. 4 Essential Ingredients in Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships start with honest conversations, mutual respect, and the courage to share what matters most. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares four insights for healthier relationships, and offers tools to help us deepen our connections in the year ahead.
 
What does it mean to truly reveal your inner experience—your feelings, values, and needs—to those you care about? Alejandra shares a relatable story of a couple stuck in surface-level conversations, using it to point out how vulnerability and open communication can bring people closer. She talks about the core values of safety and connection, and shows us how these create the foundation for trust and understanding.  
 
Do you know how to set boundaries in a way that strengthens your relationships? Alejandra explains how clear and respectful boundaries not only protect your well-being but also invite authenticity and respect from others. She reminds us that healthy relationships require generosity: the ability to give what we ask for—whether it’s listening with presence, acknowledgment, or respect for boundaries.  
 
If this episode resonates in your heart and you’re longing for more meaningful connections, Alejandra invites you to her Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop. Learn more at languagealchemy.com/vision.
 
Quotes
“If you want to have a healthy relationship with the closest people in your life, you have to, number one, learn to reveal what’s in your heart. You need to be able to share your feelings, your values, your wishes, and your needs.” (04:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If you want to have healthy relationships, you need to be able to be direct and explicit about your inner experience.” (06:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Healthy relationships rest on the foundation of two core relational values: safety and connection. To be able to share your inner experience with someone else, you need to feel safe to talk about it. And you need to experience a deeper sense of connection after you have revealed your inner experience.” (06:39 | Alejandra Siroka)
“There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Authentic conscious communication means moving beyond the surface to share what’s really alive in your heart and mind.” (16:34 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop: https://www.languagealchemy.com/vision
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

159. Key Communication Skills for a Happy Marriage

“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, ‘What would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation?’ When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” shares Danyelle Pollock, as she reflects on the intentional work it takes to grow together in a relationship.
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with Danyelle and Tristan Pollock, who share their insights on how to grow in your marriage and thrive in your relationship through conscious communication. They talk about overcoming patterns shaped by their past, finding tools to navigate conflicts, and building stronger connections through shared understanding. What does it take to turn disagreements into opportunities for growth? How do you support each other while honoring your individual needs? 
 
From their early days of dating to their experience as parents and world travelers, Danyelle and Tristan show us how intentional communication has become a cornerstone of their relationship. Their story offers invaluable lessons for couples looking to deepen their connection while navigating the challenges of life together.
 
Quotes
“We had to really double-click on how each other were feeling, and that it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to have conflict... We really had to learn that disagreements are okay, and it’s how we learn and we grow together. It’s how we start to understand each other on a deeper level.” (08:50 | Danyelle Pollock)
“Parenting… also gets you a lot of practice before it starts to get to a point where [our daughter’s] a teenager and you need to be extra cautious on how you’re hearing her and acknowledging her. And so, I think it’s been great work for us because when we started acknowledging how she felt instead of trying to solve it immediately, if she was sad or upset, we’d say, ‘Oh, so you want to do this?’ And then she’d be like, ‘Yeah,’ and it would almost stop her sadness instantly because she just felt heard. She felt like we knew what she was saying; we understood.” (22:48 | Tristan Pollock)
“I feel like mistakes are inevitable. It’s just more of a commitment to growth and being able to share how you would have liked to do it. And next time, hopefully it goes better. Mistakes happen. Being open-minded and lessening judgment is one of the values. We have four values up on our fridge that we’re trying to use as a general guideline as we're building a family and how we want to think about things, and I think that’s the big one too. We’re here because we want to be, and we want to be better.” (26:04 | Tristan Pollock)
“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, what would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation? When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” (26:46 | Danyelle Pollock)
 
Links
Connect with Danyelle & Tristan Pollock:
https://www.tristanpollock.com/ 
https://www.heywedidthat.com/
 
Apply for the Language Alchemy Group Coaching Program:  LanguageAlchemy.com/groupcoaching
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

158. 7 Tips to Talk About Politics with Family During the Holidays

“If we keep avoiding difficult topics, how are we going to learn to address them?” Alejandra Siroka poses this question with urgency and clarity. She reminds us that “having different political views is not a problem. In fact, it is healthy to have people who see the world, the problems of the world, and the potential solutions in multiple ways.”
 
In this episode, Alejandra shares practical advice on fostering healthy conversations about politics with family members. What happens when a holiday gathering feels overshadowed by divisive topics? Can we bridge the gap without compromising connection? She believes it’s possible—and even essential.
 
Alejandra offers tools to help turn conflict into connection, starting with checking your intentions and focusing on shared values. Small, intentional “micro conversations” can plant seeds for understanding over time, while skillful disagreement opens the door for mutual respect. Alejandra also encourages embracing the uncertainty of unresolved issues, reframing these discussions as opportunities to grow together.
 
With warmth and wisdom, Alejandra challenges us to remember the humanity we share with those we love, even when opinions differ. Tune in to learn actionable tips for transforming tense family discussions into moments of connection and mutual understanding.
 
Quotes
“Intentions are the foundation of relational communication. Agendas are the foundation of transactional communication, and they lead us to divisiveness.” (05:02 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When talking about politics, it’s super important that you are explicit about your intention. When you communicate your intention out loud, that serves as both the foundation to ground your conversation and also as its north star to determine the direction of the conversation.” (06:00 | Alejandra Siroka)
“It is not only okay to have different opinions and views and be able to talk about them; it is useful and beneficial. But we get in trouble when we disagree unskillfully.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka)
“All human beings want to feel safe, loved, accepted, and valued. You want that and your relative wants that, too. And even though you may disagree on how to go about getting your human needs met or your values fulfilled, you are both humans sharing a life and space.” (14:32 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

157. Transform Communication Anxiety in 5 Simple Steps

“Anxiety is a common human experience,” says Alejandra Siroka, as she shines a light on communication anxiety—something many of us face, especially during the holidays or in tense social situations. How can we speak with clarity and confidence when nerves take over? In this episode, Alejandra offers five simple steps to help shift the dynamic.
 
From grounding yourself through mindful breathing to visualizing more positive interactions, Alejandra shares tools that calm the nervous system and build confidence. She reminds us of the power of preparation—having thoughtful topics or questions ready can turn an anxious conversation into a connecting moment. This episode is an invitation to approach communication with more ease and compassion. You can transform your communication anxiety, and if you use these steps as a practice, you will decrease your communication anxiety over time. What could change for you if you practiced these steps?
 
Quotes
“Confidence is the antidote to anxiety. And, by the way, the etymology of the word confidence is ‘to have faith.’ In this case, it means to have faith in your ability to talk to others with clarity, with presence, with kindness, with strength.” (05:07 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When we breathe into the belly center, our voice comes from that area down below instead of coming from the throat area. And when our voice originates in the belly, it is stronger, more resonant, more confident.” (08:08 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Anxiety is not innovative. When we have anxiety, we view in our mind’s eye something that has already occurred in the past.” (09:13 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Thinking of others helps us decrease anxiety because anxious thoughts are usually about us, our performance, our abilities, and how we may be seen by others in negative ways.” (13:01 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Even in situations when people experienced a lot of trauma, if you ask questions about sweet and funny memories when they were kids, you will find surprising answers and connecting conversations.” (15:05 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

156. The War in Gaza: How 2 Friends, an Arab American and an Israeli American Found Common Ground Despite Their Different Views Part 2

“The Jews aren’t going anywhere. The Palestinians aren’t going anywhere. They’re either going to live there side-by-side fighting forever, or they’re going to live side-by-side in peace somehow.”
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her conversation with Kawthar Duncan and Noam Szoke—two friends whose backgrounds might suggest they’d be on opposite sides of the debate. How do you sustain a friendship when the world around you seems divided? Through open dialogue and genuine care, Kawthar and Noam share how they’ve navigated the emotional complexities of the ongoing conflict in Gaza while maintaining a strong connection.
 
What does it take to truly listen to someone with a different perspective? How can friendships thrive amid geopolitical tensions? Kawthar and Noam’s story shows us the power of empathy and mutual understanding, and reminds us that it’s possible to find common ground even in the most challenging circumstances.
 
Quotes
“We could process it together. And that’s really what we’ve been doing this year is when we get together, we basically share our grief with each other. No need for comparison or hierarchies. Grief is grief.” (09:46 | Noam Szoke)
“I feel a lot of grief for Gaza... I don’t feel that grief for just Palestinians. I feel it for the Israelis. I feel it for the Ukrainians... I don’t want to see it in our world. I don’t want my kids to have it in their lifetime.” (11:16 | Kawthar Duncan)
“The Jews aren’t going anywhere. The Palestinians aren’t going anywhere. They’re either going to live there side-by-side fighting forever, or they’re going to live side-by-side in peace somehow.” (22:23 | Noam Szoke)
“Listening to understand. It’s not listening to be understood. Going into any conversation with people of different backgrounds... it’s just listening to understand.” (23:28 | Kawthar Duncan)
 
Links
Organizations Noam mentioned:
Standing Together: https://www.standing-together.org/en
Combatants for Peace: https://cfpeace.org/
Bereaved Families Forum: https://www.progressiveisrael.org/the-bereaved-parents-circle-parents-circle-families-forum/
 
Choosing True Connection Online Course: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

155. The War in Gaza: How 2 Friends, an Arab American and an Israeli American Found Common Ground Despite Their Different Views

“I wouldn’t go by Kawthar because I didn’t want people to know I was Arab American or I was different. I wanted to be as American as possible and felt like I always needed to say I was patriotic. It took almost a decade for me to get to a place where I was like, ‘No, I’m proud of my parents. I’m proud of what they did to bring me here,’” shares Kawthar Duncan, opening up about the internal struggle she faced growing up.
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka brings together Kawthar, an Arab American immigrant, and Noam Szoke, an Israeli American immigrant, to show how two people from different origins—and historically opposing backgrounds—found refuge in their friendship. 
 
What does it mean to connect with someone whose life experiences seem so different from your own? Kawthar and Noam share how they built a meaningful friendship through honesty, shared experiences of immigration, and the willingness to confront cultural stereotypes together. 
 
Their conversation reveals the discomfort of facing prejudice—whether Islamophobia or anti-Semitism—and the unexpected bond these discussions created. How do friendships like theirs offer hope in a divided world? As they reflect on their relationship, they offer a powerful example of how genuine dialogue can bridge even the deepest divides, and fosters understanding and connection across cultural barriers. 
 
This episode challenges us to consider the transformative power of friendship in overcoming differences and creating lasting empathy, even in the most challenging of circumstances.
 
Quotes
“I’ve been fortunate to not experience any kind of overt anti-Semitism in my life. Kawthar has experienced Islamophobia, as it’s called, in hers that had a big impact on me.” (08:42 | Noam Szoke)
“One of the things I remember very clearly my father told me that always impacted me was him saying, the Arabs are our cousins. And so, Kawthar and I started calling each other ‘cousin.’” (09:20 | Noam Szoke)
“Post-9/11, it was just very different to be an immigrant and to be a refugee and now to be an American citizen here in a place that is home. It is home for me, but others don’t see me as a person that belongs here, and that I’ve harmed this country, the generalization of it.” (11:39 | Kawthar Duncan)
“I wouldn’t go by Kawthar because I didn’t want people to know I was Arab American or I was different. I wanted to be as American as possible and felt like I always needed to say I was patriotic. It took almost a decade for me to get to a place where I was like, ‘No, I’m proud of my parents. I’m proud of what they did to bring me here.’” (13:08 | Kawthar Duncan)
 
Links
Choosing True Connection Online Course: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

154. How to Talk to Your In-laws When They Think Differently From You

“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson, a seasoned psychologist with decades of experience in family dynamics and Alejandra’s mother-in-law, gives heartfelt advice in this episode of The Language Alchemy. In a world where family gatherings often bring together different perspectives, beliefs, and cultures, Ellen and Alejandra offer a compassionate way to navigate those differences with grace.
 
Ellen shares her thoughts on building relationships with in-laws who come from different backgrounds or hold opposing views. How can we focus on what connects us instead of what divides us? By letting go of the need to prove your point, Ellen suggests, you open the door to mutual respect and understanding, which are both essential for creating harmony in family dynamics.
 
As Ellen and Alejandra vulnerably share how the two of them cultivated an adult loving relationship, they highlight the importance of intentional communication. Could it be that these differences, instead of being obstacles, are opportunities for deeper understanding? Their conversation is a reminder that when we listen and seek common ground, relationships have the potential to grow, even when beliefs or cultures don’t fully align.
 
Quotes
“I thought about all the mother-in-law jokes that we have in our culture, which are so negative and so disparaging. And why is it? Because we are afraid that whatever special relationship we have with our child is going to be disturbed in some way. We're not understanding that we have different kinds of love. We love our spouses in one way. We love our children in one way. We love our friends in one way.” (10:38 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“Our relationship has also been a great gift to me. Gift often implies that you don’t do anything to get it, but that’s really not the case. I think you’ve said very clearly that we had a lot of work to do. And what was the work? I mean, you came from a different culture. I had to learn about the culture. The difference is to respect it and not ever see it as something less than, or than the culture I was raised in.” (12:50 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“If somebody’s idea is, you think, in opposition to you, I think it’s more helpful just to think of it as a different idea, a very different idea, and not one that you’re probably going to talk them out of.” (23:05 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” (32:49 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm