The Language Alchemy Podcast

154. How to Talk to Your In-laws When They Think Differently From You

“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson, a seasoned psychologist with decades of experience in family dynamics and Alejandra’s mother-in-law, gives heartfelt advice in this episode of The Language Alchemy. In a world where family gatherings often bring together different perspectives, beliefs, and cultures, Ellen and Alejandra offer a compassionate way to navigate those differences with grace.
 
Ellen shares her thoughts on building relationships with in-laws who come from different backgrounds or hold opposing views. How can we focus on what connects us instead of what divides us? By letting go of the need to prove your point, Ellen suggests, you open the door to mutual respect and understanding, which are both essential for creating harmony in family dynamics.
 
As Ellen and Alejandra vulnerably share how the two of them cultivated an adult loving relationship, they highlight the importance of intentional communication. Could it be that these differences, instead of being obstacles, are opportunities for deeper understanding? Their conversation is a reminder that when we listen and seek common ground, relationships have the potential to grow, even when beliefs or cultures don’t fully align.
 
Quotes
“I thought about all the mother-in-law jokes that we have in our culture, which are so negative and so disparaging. And why is it? Because we are afraid that whatever special relationship we have with our child is going to be disturbed in some way. We're not understanding that we have different kinds of love. We love our spouses in one way. We love our children in one way. We love our friends in one way.” (10:38 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“Our relationship has also been a great gift to me. Gift often implies that you don’t do anything to get it, but that’s really not the case. I think you’ve said very clearly that we had a lot of work to do. And what was the work? I mean, you came from a different culture. I had to learn about the culture. The difference is to respect it and not ever see it as something less than, or than the culture I was raised in.” (12:50 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“If somebody’s idea is, you think, in opposition to you, I think it’s more helpful just to think of it as a different idea, a very different idea, and not one that you’re probably going to talk them out of.” (23:05 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” (32:49 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

153. How to Respond to Compliments

“How can you respond to compliments skillfully? To respond skillfully, you need to be rooted in your own being,” Alejandra Siroka shares as she discusses the nature of receiving compliments. Many of us avoid or downplay praise because we feel uncomfortable. Why is that? While compliments are intended to express appreciation, they can sometimes feel like judgments, causing discomfort.
 
Alejandra points out that our uneasiness may stem from past experiences, societal expectations, or even the dynamic between the person giving and receiving the compliment. Have you ever found yourself quickly returning a compliment, brushing it off, or downplaying it with self-deprecating humor? These are all signs of discomfort, and Alejandra explains how recognizing these patterns is the first step toward responding with greater confidence and ease.
 
In this episode, Alejandra offers helpful advice on how to respond to compliments in a way that feels sincere and strengthens relationships. When we practice offering thoughtful responses, like expressing true gratitude or acknowledging the positive intent behind a compliment, it helps us become more comfortable accepting praise instead of avoiding it.
 
Quotes
“Compliments, praise, and even expressions of gratitude are usually positive remarks that communicate approval or admiration. When people say them out loud, they often hope the recipient will feel seen, valued, and good about themselves. However, even with the best of intentions, these remarks can sometimes elicit discomfort in the recipient for various reasons. If you feel uncomfortable receiving them and don’t know how to respond, you are not alone.” (04:04 | Alejandra Siroka)
“How can you respond to compliments skillfully? To respond skillfully, you need to be rooted in your own being. That means having a deep understanding of yourself—your strengths, your abilities—while also being aware of your capacity to grow. The key is to have self-awareness without feeling arrogant or superior, but rather with a sense of healthy humility.” (13:01 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If you notice that expressing or receiving gratitude or praise is something you struggle with, it can make it difficult to form a true sense of connection with the people with whom you want to have deep, close, or meaningful relationships.” (15:13 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To learn about Choosing True Connection Online Course, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

152. How Listeners Use the Podcast to Have Conscious Relationships

“I do these podcasts for you, and it is really you—along with my commitment to providing transformative communication tools for free—that keeps me going,” says Alejandra Siroka. As the Language Alchemy podcast celebrates its third anniversary, Alejandra invites listeners to reflect on the impact the podcast has had on their lives and relationships. How has conscious communication helped you grow? This episode dives into those personal stories, showcasing how listeners have connected deeply with the content, using it as a tool for personal transformation.
 
From clarifying the distinction between envy and jealousy to encouraging shifts in internal dialogue, listeners share their gratitude for the clarity and insights the podcast brings to emotionally complex topics. Alejandra’s sister Patricia reflects on how these teachings have helped her navigate difficult family dynamics by prompting her to examine emotions she once overlooked. Meanwhile, Shannon and Britt, past guests, describe how preparing for their episode strengthened their relationship, a testament to the podcast’s ability to foster deeper bonds.
 
Listeners like Maria and Amber share their experiences with episodes on maintaining long-term relationships and overcoming negative thought patterns. Their stories highlight how the podcast serves as an ongoing resource for both personal growth and enhanced communication skills. 
 
What’s especially powerful is the ripple effect—many listeners talk about how the communication tools they’ve learned extend beyond their own lives, improving their relationships with friends and family. The episode highlights how Alejandra’s work is building a community of conscious communicators who uplift and support each other through life’s challenges. It’s a touching reminder of the lasting influence conscious communication can have on our lives, encouraging us all to continue growing and deepening our connections.
 
Quotes
“The distinction you made in this most recent podcast between envy and jealousy really hit home. It has truly changed the language I’m using... It really left a deep impression. It’s already started to change my language… It’s such a great example of the skillful use of language that’s so much a part of the fabric of what you do with the podcast. It’s why I’m a frequent listener and, I guess, a second-time caller.” (08:04 | Dazza)
“Even as a queer person, I am always amazed at the level of—it’s beyond allyship—what you bring to the queer community and to the queer people in your life, Alejandra. That comes through on your podcast, and I don’t know if you even realize how important your contribution is. I hope others get to receive that because it’s really beautiful. It has meant a lot to us.” (13:05 | Shannon)
“What I appreciate about it is that you really give people the opportunity to figure out how to speak, so they’re not just caught in that common feeling of, ‘Oh, I just don’t know what to say,’ or, ‘I can’t say it right, so I won’t say anything at all.’ You offer the words that are needed. And for me, it gives me a chance to think about what’s really important. So it’s both an internal support and a relational support.” (16:27 | Amber)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

151. 10 Communication Tools to Use With Anxious People

“The first thing we’re going to do is to be more aware of what anxiety is and how it manifests in communication so that you can be better equipped with communication tools to connect with the wonderful people in your life who are going through anxiety,” says Alejandra Siroka. In this episode, Alejandra delves into how anxiety influences communication and relationships, especially in the aftermath of the global pandemic.
 
Have you ever noticed how anxiety often appears as excessive fear or worry, leading to strained interactions with loved ones? Alejandra offers ten communication tools to help navigate these challenges, from self-awareness practices to verbal communication strategies. Her insights are all about building empathy and understanding, transforming difficult conversations into opportunities for deeper connections. By the end of the episode, you’ll feel more prepared to support those dealing with anxiety, armed with both skill and compassion.
 
Quotes
“We now know that anxiety can start as the result of a difficult environment. And we are all living in a difficult environment at this moment in the world with so much conflict, wars, suffering, political uncertainty, divisiveness, natural disasters, climate change, you name it.” (02:23 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Language alchemy is about cultivating awareness. So, the first thing we’re going to do is to be more aware of what anxiety is and how it manifests in communication so that you can be better equipped with communication tools to connect with the wonderful people in your life who are going through anxiety.” (03:28 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Communication depends on the context, on the relationship, and the intention. So, as you explore these tools, be aware of the conditions of the present moment, of the kind of relationship you have with the other person, and of your specific intentions.” (10:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

150. How to Answer Uncomfortable Questions

“Remember, you are safe. And when you remember that, that’s when you connect your choice to answer or not answer the question,” says Alejandra Siroka, as she guides us through addressing uncomfortable questions, a common challenge in communication—in this milestone episode of the Language Alchemy Podcast. Alejandra defines uncomfortable questions as those that cause discomfort due to their personal, intrusive, or judgmental nature. She categorizes these questions into four groups: those that feel too personal, those from close relations that carry judgment, socially biased questions, and everyday questions that may trigger discomfort based on the recipient’s current state.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing that you always have a choice in whether to answer these uncomfortable questions. She advises listeners to first ensure they feel safe and grounded before deciding how to respond. She offers practical strategies: acknowledging the question without answering it, responding with another question to understand the asker’s intent, or providing a sincere answer that reflects one’s true feelings and circumstances. Through these methods, Alejandra aims to empower listeners to respond to uncomfortable questions with authenticity, confidence, clarity, and compassion. 
 
As Alejandra celebrates three years of dedication to providing listeners with tools for conscious communication—enhancing personal growth and relationships—and the podcast’s 150th episode, she invites listeners to join her in marking this milestone with a free, one-hour online party on August 23rd. Join Alejandra as she celebrates this achievement, offering attendees the chance to win various giveaways, including one-on-one coaching sessions and spots in her exclusive programs. To sign up, go to: languagealchemy.com/podcastparty
 
Quotes
“When you receive these questions, remember that you have a choice. Yes, you have the choice to answer or not answer these questions. You’re an adult, and you get to decide. It’s important to remind yourself of this in the moment, especially when you feel uncomfortable, cornered, or pressured. Check your surroundings—why? Because you’re safe. The question may feel uncomfortable and elicit a sense of insecurity, but it will not harm you.” (09:12 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Remember, you are safe. And when you remember that, that’s when you connect your choice to answer or not answer the question. Now, how do you know if you want to answer the question or not? To know whether you want to give a response or none at all, the most important thing you can do is to connect yourself and tune into what you are feeling.” (10:08 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Something else you can do when you receive questions that feel uncomfortable is to give a sincere answer. To do this, you need to know the kind of relationship you have and want to have with the person asking the question. You also need to be aware of your internal state—your feelings, your emotions. Be mindful of your intention for answering the question and, finally, the context in which this interaction is happening. Being aware of all these factors is crucial; otherwise, your answer may be reactive, defensive, habitual, or unconscious—in other words, unhelpful.” (14:28 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To sign up for the free podcast party, go to: languagealchemy.com/podcastparty
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

149. The Language of Healing: Interview with Scott Blossom (Part 2)

Understanding and practicing conscious communication can transform personal relationships and foster holistic healing across physical, emotional, and social dimensions. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her conversation with Scott Blossom, building on the insights shared in episode 148 to delve deeper into the language of healing.
 
This episode explores the power of a shared language within families, revealing how open and honest communication can be a cornerstone of healing. Scott shares a 5-step communication process he uses with his family. This process involves identifying and expressing feelings, taking responsibility for beliefs, and making actionable requests. It fosters a safe and respectful environment, crucial for deep and meaningful conversations, especially during emotionally charged situations.
 
Join Alejandra and Scott to discover how embracing this communication process can enhance your interactions, leading to enlivened relationships, profound healing, and growth.
 
Quotes
“When language is spoken in a way that is relational, it has a different quality and often a more poetic quality. The etymology of the word ‘wisdom’ reveals two primary qualities: guidance and lyricalness. There’s something about wisdom that comes with a quality that enlivens, something from that more poetic side.” (04:50 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“The core piece of the skill is a communication pattern that involves taking responsibility for your role in a conversation about something, especially if there are strong feelings. It has five steps. Before I explain it, I want to mention that the founders took it from other models, of course, but they provide a beautiful educational talk about why they use this approach with kids and why it’s so important for families to learn to have this as a shared language.” (15:07 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“Everything is workable, even if it’s terrible or really hard, and even when there are a lot of big feelings involved. We have a structure that signals to each other, ‘I’m going to follow this because I love you and I want you to feel safe enough to engage with this material that might be super charged from one side or both sides.’” (17:25 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
 
Links
Connect with Scott Blossom:
https://www.doctorblossom.com/
 
Connect with Scott Blossom on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/docblossom
 
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
 
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi
=064dcb42ba8d4706
 
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
 
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
 
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
 
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
 
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
 
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
 
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
 
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

148. The Language of Healing: Interview with Dr. Blossom. Part 1

“We’re multidimensional beings. You can’t separate the physical body from the language you happen to think in, or the way that spiritual practices change identity,” explains Dr. Scott Blossom, a respected healer with expertise in traditional Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, yoga somatics, and nutrition. Alejandra Siroka credits Dr. Blossom for profoundly influencing her holistic health journey.
 
In this episode, Alejandra and Dr. Blossom explore the integral role of conscious communication in well-being and collective healing. They discuss how language and self-talk affect physical health through emotional patterns and belief systems, and delve into Ayurvedic principles, particularly the doshas—vata, kapha, and pitta—highlighting how these impact communication styles and emotional tendencies.
 
Dr. Blossom shares personal anecdotes, emphasizing self-awareness and compassionate communication in relationships. He also reflects on his social awakening after George Floyd’s murder and his involvement in White Men for Racial Justice, stressing the need for commitment to social justice and equity.
 
This episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast underscores the transformative power of language in fostering a just and connected society, advocating for understanding historical and social contexts to promote ongoing personal and collective awakening.
 
Quotes
“We’re multidimensional beings. You can’t separate the physical body from the language you think in, or the way that spiritual practices change identity.” (09:35 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“The narrative that you get when you understand what your primary orientation is around the doshas really helps you to anticipate what your particular genius is, what your particular form of balance will look like, and what most likely your forms of imbalance will look like. So, if everything’s balanced out, then just go with the flow, trust. You can really lean into that, but if things are out of balance, you have to actually attenuate. You have to work against the stream that’s carrying you into imbalance. And that narrative sets up a very important story.” (20:28 | Dr. Scott Blossom)
“It’s a world that negates the power of history, my ancestry, and the intergenerational forces, which we now know from trauma research has so much power on us. And I love that that’s kind of coming around, like studies around trauma are helping us to see that we’re not just people that landed here. And it’s about us taking what we need and want to make our lives great as if that was the plan because traditional viewpoints are never centered on the individual. They always center the community and in that community they’re centering relationships.” (31:05  | Dr. Scott Blossom)
 
Links
Connect with Dr. Scott Blossom:
https://www.doctorblossom.com/
 
Connect with Dr. Blossom on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/docblossom
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi
=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

147. Irresistible Asks: How to Get a Yes When You Make Requests

“What if there was a way to ask for what you wanted that also considered others? What if you could make requests that others would say yes to out of joy and not out of obligation or manipulation? What if you could express how meaningful it would be for you to get a yes to a wonderful ask?” wonders Alejandra Siroka. In this episode, Alejandra discusses the transformative power of making irresistible asks through conscious and respectful requests.
 
Alejandra addresses the fear of offending others, often leading to avoided confrontations. She suggests framing requests with choice and autonomy, using phrases like “Are you willing?” Drawing from her mentor, Marshall Rosenberg, she shares six key components for effective requests: being clear and specific, making requests doable, being value explicit, making the request time-bound, expressing consideration for the other, and giving choice. These elements of a conscious, irresistible ask can help  avoid getting resistance or pushback.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the importance of clear communication, realistic expectations, and understanding the recipient’s perspective. She encourages listeners to apply these principles to foster clearer, more respectful, and successful interactions, ultimately building stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
 
Quotes
“Part of communicating skillfully has to do with learning to set the conditions to reach your goals and objectives. However, when you use specific language as a means to an end only, especially if that particular end is to benefit you and only you, then we run the risk of disregarding the values and needs of others, which I know is not your intention.” (02:03 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When I talk about communication, I like you to go back to its etymology, which is to find a common place, a point of union. For what? Collaboration. When you ask someone for something, I’d love for you to think about how every time you do that, what you are asking for is an opportunity for you and the other person to collaborate, to join forces, to contribute to something that first and foremost is clear and specific.” (03:27 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Let the other person know that your request is not a demand, but that it’s actually an ask that gives them choice. And it also communicates that you respect their needs, their values, their lives, their schedules, their autonomy.” (19:38 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

146. Supporting Love and Identity in LGBTQ Relationships Through Conscious Communication

“I’m very proud to work with LGBTQ folks and help them find their authentic expression,” says host Alejandra Siroka. In this special episode, Alejandra welcomes returning guests Shannon and Britt, both members of the LGBTQ community, to share their journey of personal growth and evolving communication as a couple.
 
Shannon and Britt recount their unique love story, highlighting the evolution of their identities and relationship dynamics. Britt, who transitioned from identifying as a lesbian to a trans man, and Shannon, a non-binary, pansexual person, discuss how they navigated these changes, including Britt’s gender transition and Shannon’s recovery from addiction.
 
Alejandra emphasizes the power of language in affirming identities. Shannon and Britt reflect on the importance of conscious communication in their relationship, addressing challenges such as toxic masculinity and family acceptance. Their story illustrates how intentional communication and mutual support can foster a deeper, more authentic connection.
 
This episode is a testament to the resilience and adaptability required to maintain a loving relationship amid personal transformation and societal challenges.
 
Quotes
“I’m really happy to see that as we are constantly evolving as a society and a human family, our language is evolving. Our language is becoming more open, more flexible.” (12:36 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Thinking about all the ways in which we use binary gendered language and getting creative is an opportunity to expand our consciousness around our communication.” (27:50 | Shannon Bolt) 
“As we evolve, our language needs to evolve. As we expand, our language needs to expand. As we become more conscious, our language needs to follow suit. As we mature, our language needs to mature with us as well.” (28:52 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“Toxic masculinity is a thing and toxic masculinity reacts to men and masculine-type people in different ways than it reacts to women and feminine-type people. There is a certain way that particularly men can respond more aggressively. We’ve seen how Brit has had to adjust his responses to that kind of ‘chest puffing up,’ if you will, because men see him as a man and their willingness to escalate into violence is sometimes just simmering beneath the surface.” (30:51 | Shannon Bolt) 
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

145. Benefits of Relational Versus Transactional Communication

Are your interactions building genuine connections or just checking off boxes? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka delves into the difference between transactional and relational communication, questioning the common belief that communication is solely about achieving personal goals. 
 
Alejandra highlights that transactional communication is often mistaken for clear communication. When we  only focus on the goal of getting what one wants, this leads to transactional exchanges driven by safety and control. She contrasts this type of communication with relational communication, which prioritizes empathy, trust, and collaboration, fostering deeper connections and authentic self-expression. Alejandra shares key insights to help listeners distinguish between these two styles, noting that relational communication delves into intentions and emotions, while transactional communication is goal-oriented and can be superficial.
 
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own communication styles and consider embracing relational communication to cultivate more meaningful relationships.
 
Quotes
“Communication is the foundation for meaningful relationships.” (02:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
“The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships, and the quality of your relationships depend on the quality of your communication. Communication is relational.” (02:25 | Alejandra Siroka) 
“If you communicate with others to experience a meaningful relationship, then when you talk to your teenager, you consider your intention rather than your agenda. And so you reflect before you speak. Why does it bother you so much that your teenager is checking their phone the whole time you’re having dinner together? That’s when you realize that what’s bothering you is not the act itself. It’s the fact that you want to feel the connection with this being who’s growing, oh, so fast… The focus here is on the value of connection and the whole communication revolves around the kind of relationship we want.” (09:44 - 11:37 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm