The Language Alchemy Podcast

How Non-aggressive Is Your Communication? Part 1

Most of us say we want peace in our relationships. So why do we still use words that create tension, distance, or even hurt?
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka invites us to take a closer look at the everyday language we use and how some of it may be doing more harm than we realize. Without meaning to, we may be speaking in ways that shut others down, leads them to feel small, or quietly chip away at trust. Where do those habits come from? And how can we shift toward language that helps people feel safe, respected, and valued?
 
Alejandra shares four common communication habits that many of us have picked up: interrupting, correcting to be right, shaming, and using body language that overpowers. With clarity and care, she explains why each one matters and offers simple, grounded ways to replace them with more thoughtful patterns.
 
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about noticing what’s happening in the space between you and the people you care about and choosing to show up differently. If you long for more connection, ease, and peace in your relationships, this episode is a powerful place to begin.
 
Quotes
“The condition of our relationships depends directly on our communication. The ways we speak to each other, listen to each other, and understand or misunderstand each other shape what’s present or absent in our relationships.” (06:16 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If we want other people to feel safe with us, we need to be aware of talking over them or interrupting them. And we need to learn to let them say whatever they want to say, even if what they do say is what we thought they were going to say, and even if we don’t like what they’re saying.” (11:53 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Correcting to be right is not just a disconnecting communication pattern, it is an aggressive one because it shows contempt and criticism for the other person.” (15:28 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Shaming is about saying something that attacks the other person’s identity, character, role in the family or in the group, or their cultural background. And this often leads to the recipient of shame feeling badly about themselves, about who they are, and about their self-worth.” (19:45 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Wouldn’t you want the people in your relationships to feel good about themselves, to feel confident, to feel that they have worth?” (21:56 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

166. From Silence to Bravery: Rowena Chiu’s Harvey Weinstein Sexual Assault Story

Rowena Chiu spent 20 years unable to speak about her sexual assault after signing an NDA. Now, she’s using her voice to challenge power and change how we talk about trauma, truth, and legacy.
 
Joining Alejandra Siroka in this episode, Rowena reflects on the cultural silence she grew up with as the daughter of Chinese immigrants, and how emotional scarcity and obedience shaped her response to assault. As a former assistant to Harvey Weinstein, she was coerced into signing a non-disclosure agreement that kept her silent for two decades. That silence was compounded by a culture that didn’t talk about sex, power, or emotional needs.
 
Together, Rowena and Alejandra examine what it means to leave a communication legacy for our children—one that makes space for difficult conversations about mental health, sexual assault, and personal boundaries. Rowena speaks openly about how she reclaimed her voice, why advocacy became part of her healing, and how power dynamics show up in everyday life.
 
This episode is a reminder that silence isn’t always chosen, and that breaking it can be an act of justice, healing, and love.
 
Quotes
“Nobody in Asian culture talks about sex. We don’t talk about sex at all, let alone in the context of sexual assault.” (06:47 | Rowena Chiu)
“Power is not given to us as a right, each of us, even if you are the king of England, it is not given to you as a right to abuse.” (24:49 | Rowena Chiu)
“Any abuse of power, no matter how benign, in its own way is a violence.” (25:31 | Rowena Chiu)
“This is not just about telling a factual story of what happened to me as a young woman, but we’ve really been propelled into a social justice fight. The more you dig under the surface of this fight, the more fundamental and basic it is. It’s really about elevating those that cannot communicate.” (28:53 | Rowena Chiu)
“I think that one of the deeply important communication legacy is the ability to normalize difficult conversations.” (32:46 | Rowena Chiu)
 
Links
Find Rowena Chiu on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rowena-Chiu-for-School-Board/61564076595785/?_rdr,
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chiu_rowena/?hl=en
 
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

165. Finding Your Voice After Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Survivor’s Journey Through the 4 Stages of Healing. Interview with Leila Reyes

Speaking up can feel impossible when shame has kept you silent for so long. But what if finding your voice was the key to healing?
 
Alejandra Siroka sits down with Leila Reyes, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, to talk about the power of communication in the healing process. Leila shares her journey of confronting her past, reclaiming her voice, and choosing to speak out even when it felt terrifying.
 
How does shame take root in silence? Why do so many survivors of sexual abuse struggle to ask for help? Leila explains how unspoken trauma shapes self-worth and relationships, making it harder to seek support. She also offers a path forward, showing how speaking about painful experiences, whether in therapy, coaching, or personal reflection, can shift the way we see ourselves and the world.
 
Alejandra and Leila also talk about the differences between therapy and coaching, to understand which kind of support might be right when. Therapy focuses on processing past trauma, while coaching helps create a path toward personal growth. Knowing when and how to ask for help can open new doors to healing.
 
This episode is a reminder that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Words have the power to free us, and finding the courage to speak, even in small ways, can be the first step toward breaking shame’s hold.
 
Quotes
“It’s not the abuse that’s causing the problem today. It’s your interpretation of the abuse. It’s the meaning that you make about the abuse.” (23:35 | Leila Reyes)
“If you want to have a different experience, then ask for support. And then you’ll also be the source of being supported.” (24:25 | Leila Reyes)
“And I’m going to tell you, to be living in a world where I know my inherent value, to be free of the beliefs and the thoughts that I had and the ways of showing up in the world, the ways of relating to people, it’s worth the journey.” (29:22 | Leila Reyes)
“We need to have compassion for the part of us that went through that experience and the choices that we made even throughout our lives without the awareness that we were living from that interpretation.” (33:41 | Leila Reyes)
“Shame lives in secrecy, shame lives inside of our bodies, then the way that we can get free of shame is to speak it out loud.” (34:54 | Leila Reyes)
 
Links
Connect with Leila Reyes:
https://leilareyes.com/
 
Freedom from Shame Book: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Shame-Trauma-Forgiveness-Healing/dp/1961347458?crid=2M8Y7ROPA2XAL&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZOT7xTbIuKBtna0cK6upPWjhuEp9HXCbhR_lTfEHgw15vHfZqpl9c2dRKMBUvbCQjn87R7QZ5a_Y58GcxkRhp0vaX80gyANUTdZflOjaO6ouzbdJT4Cdau1RYrisJFB8QSErM_n-PNnonTxvRLQrP0rrW8vEhrfJ-mwDWwsOhpcLSMReJWERVSfISH-2ppTREnXvu4QzINpkUZcHaOb8x204kYsADESSzj5ESlMArAQ.oEzj_yZ2iF08reScmR2r1aw3FHVUcno_QMKFwHn3OfA&dib_tag=se&keywords=leila+reyes+freedom&qid=1713215530&sprefix=,aps,142&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=leilareyes0a-20&linkId=f619b77aeadf8c6be794b04919c99020&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

164. Rekindling Self-Love in Uncertain Times: 6 Communication Practices for Emotional Resilience

Heartbreak with life is real, but the way back is through truth, presence, and radical love.
 
When the world feels heavy, how do we hold onto love for life, for ourselves, and for each other? Alejandra Siroka breaks it down with three simple but powerful ways to lean into love. Grounding in the present helps quiet fear. Practicing radical tenderness is an act of strength. Serving others restores a sense of purpose.
 
But what about the moments when love for life starts slipping away? Alejandra shares three practices to keep that connection alive. Expressing emotions in safe spaces prevents the weight of unspoken feelings. Building a gratitude practice shifts perspective. Finding true community creates real belonging. 
 
In this episode, Alejandra reminds us that even in difficult times, love isn’t something we have to wait for. It is something we choose every day.
 
Quotes
“We are collectively experiencing a heartbreak with life and reality. And as I see it, we stand at a crossroads. We can either succumb to these feelings, engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors and surrendering to depression, anxiety, and fear, or we can undertake the noble, albeit challenging, work of rekindling our love for life and our love for ourselves.” (02:45 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When we anchor ourselves in the now, we reclaim our power from imagined future fears or traumatic moments in the past.” (06:25 | Alejandra Siroka)
“This tenderness isn't a weakness. It takes tremendous courage because it is choosing love instead of feeding fear.” (09:08 | Alejandra Siroka)
“A lot can change if you allow yourself to speak what’s true. A lot can heal if you trust others with your vulnerability.” (12:11 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Your feelings deserve to be heard, to be witnessed. Your truth deserves to be spoken.” (12:34 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on Instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

163. Stop Rehashing Conversations in Your Head. Do this 6-step Practice Instead

The way we communicate isn’t just about what we say. It’s about the courage to ask how our words land and the impact they leave behind.
 
Alejandra Siroka explores the power of checking in on the impact of our words, not to seek validation, but to show care and build trust. She shares a personal story about a conversation with a friend, whose intentional follow-up turned a potentially difficult discussion into a moment of deeper understanding. Through this, Alejandra reveals how a willingness to ask, ‘How did my words land with you?’ can transform the way we communicate.
 
This episode introduces the “Impact Check-in Practice,” a six-step approach designed to help you create a safe space for honest dialogue, listen without defensiveness, and express genuine care. Alejandra breaks it down into practical steps you can apply in conversations with friends, colleagues, and even those who see the world differently.
 
Alejandra leaves listeners with a challenge: reach out to three people you’ve had meaningful conversations with and check in on how your words affected them. The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to open the door for real connection, growth, and understanding.
 
Quotes
“One of the most profound acts of love we can offer another person is to circle back with them and ask, ‘How did my words impact you?’” (01:39 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Checking in about our impact is a form of love, of communicating love out loud.” (02:14 | Alejandra Siroka)
“This practice isn’t about being perfect or about receiving validation. It’s about being present, about creating a deeper sense of connection and being committed to growing as a conscious human being.” (11:22 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Every time you check in about impact, you’re not just building stronger relationships. You are contributing to a more empathic and understanding world.” (15:57 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
Impact Check In Free Reference Guide: LanguageAlchemy.com/impactcheckin
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

162. 312, A Useful Practice When You Get Reactive

“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world,” says Kelly Blaser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Dharma Bridge and Soma Psychotherapy. In this episode, Kelly joins Alejandra Siroka to explore how compassionate self-inquiry can help us uncover the deeper layers of who we are. What happens when we stop running from discomfort and instead meet ourselves with curiosity? Kelly shares her 312 practice, a simple and useful tool to interrupt self-critical voices and invite a more compassionate inner dialogue.
 
Through relatable examples and insights, Kelly invites us to consider: How much of our identity is shaped by old stories, and how can we begin to loosen their grip? Join Kelly and Alejandra’s conversation to get gentle guidance for navigating anxiety, self-judgment, and the moments of stillness where healing begins.
 
Quotes
“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world.” (06:22 | Kelly Blaser)
“My teacher used to say, ‘You are not a monolith. You think you’re a monolith. You’re not a monolith.’ We’re actually composed of distinct personalities. She originally called it subpersonalities. She doesn’t use that language anymore. If you see a part of yourself arise that’s reactive, that is experiencing shame, that is experiencing some kind of suffering, then it’s very helpful to have a way to distance yourself from that part without bypassing that part.” (14:59 | Kelly Blaser)
“What this practice is really the best at doing is interrupting ruminative, self-critical voices. So then when you think about a person who acts out in a big way and what is the moment where they’re most likely to be in ruminative, self-critical voices, it’s probably not while the tension is building prior to the explosion. It’s probably afterwards.” (18:45 | Kelly Blaser)
“Witness consciousness can help because then it takes away some of the barriers to feeling because we don’t take it so seriously if we can see ourselves from the outside. And so, then, we can kind of inquire, what does it feel like in this body? What’s circulating around here?” (26:06 | Kelly Blaser)
 
Links
Connect with Kelly Blaser:Dharma Bridge https://dharmabridge.net/
Kelly Blaser https://kellyblaser.com/
Soma Psychotherapy https://www.somapsychotherapy.com/yoga
2025 Power of Meditation Summit: https://kelly-blaser.mykajabi.com/a/2148010679/zBQLdFd8
 
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

161. Safety and Connection: The Heart of Every Relationship

“Connection is present in a relationship when we feel accepted as we are.”
 
What makes relationships thrive? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares the two values she believes are at the heart of every meaningful relationship: safety and connection. Drawing from her personal experiences and years of coaching, Alejandra shows us how these values shape the way we interact and build trust with others. 
 
Alejandra shares a childhood story that points out how connection can repair even the most tender moments of conflict. What does it mean to feel safe in a relationship? She explains that safety goes beyond physical security, touching on emotional and cultural freedom, while connection fulfills our deep human need to belong and feel understood.
 
Through relatable examples, Alejandra explores how these values show up differently for everyone. Why do some people crave reassurance while others withdraw under pressure? Understanding your primary relational value can unlock more harmonious, long-lasting and authentic relationships.
 
Alejandra offers practical tools to reflect on your core values and begin transforming your communication patterns. This episode is an invitation to approach yourself and others with more compassion. Tune in to discover how safety and connection can nurture relationships that truly feel alive.
 
Quotes
“Safety and connection are the primary colors from which all other relational values are painted.” (05:33 | Alejandra Siroka)
“In essence, when we talk about safety in relationships, we talk about the freedom to move, be, and express ourselves without having to protect any aspect of ourselves from the other person.” (06:59 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Connection is present in the joy we feel when someone truly gets us, in the comfort of feeling listened to, in the delight we experience when someone celebrates us or something that is important to us.” (07:26 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Once the couples I coach understand their partner’s primary core relational value, they uncover a whole new way of seeing, understanding, and communicating with their partners.” (13:42 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If someone feels unsafe or disconnected from you, remember that 99% of the time, it’s not about you. It’s about their past experiences and learned responses that have become communication patterns.” (17:55 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
Group Coaching: https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

160. 4 Essential Ingredients in Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships start with honest conversations, mutual respect, and the courage to share what matters most. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares four insights for healthier relationships, and offers tools to help us deepen our connections in the year ahead.
 
What does it mean to truly reveal your inner experience—your feelings, values, and needs—to those you care about? Alejandra shares a relatable story of a couple stuck in surface-level conversations, using it to point out how vulnerability and open communication can bring people closer. She talks about the core values of safety and connection, and shows us how these create the foundation for trust and understanding.  
 
Do you know how to set boundaries in a way that strengthens your relationships? Alejandra explains how clear and respectful boundaries not only protect your well-being but also invite authenticity and respect from others. She reminds us that healthy relationships require generosity: the ability to give what we ask for—whether it’s listening with presence, acknowledgment, or respect for boundaries.  
 
If this episode resonates in your heart and you’re longing for more meaningful connections, Alejandra invites you to her Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop. Learn more at languagealchemy.com/vision.
 
Quotes
“If you want to have a healthy relationship with the closest people in your life, you have to, number one, learn to reveal what’s in your heart. You need to be able to share your feelings, your values, your wishes, and your needs.” (04:52 | Alejandra Siroka)
“If you want to have healthy relationships, you need to be able to be direct and explicit about your inner experience.” (06:19 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Healthy relationships rest on the foundation of two core relational values: safety and connection. To be able to share your inner experience with someone else, you need to feel safe to talk about it. And you need to experience a deeper sense of connection after you have revealed your inner experience.” (06:39 | Alejandra Siroka)
“There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka)
“Authentic conscious communication means moving beyond the surface to share what’s really alive in your heart and mind.” (16:34 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop: https://www.languagealchemy.com/vision
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

159. Key Communication Skills for a Happy Marriage

“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, ‘What would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation?’ When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” shares Danyelle Pollock, as she reflects on the intentional work it takes to grow together in a relationship.
 
In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with Danyelle and Tristan Pollock, who share their insights on how to grow in your marriage and thrive in your relationship through conscious communication. They talk about overcoming patterns shaped by their past, finding tools to navigate conflicts, and building stronger connections through shared understanding. What does it take to turn disagreements into opportunities for growth? How do you support each other while honoring your individual needs? 
 
From their early days of dating to their experience as parents and world travelers, Danyelle and Tristan show us how intentional communication has become a cornerstone of their relationship. Their story offers invaluable lessons for couples looking to deepen their connection while navigating the challenges of life together.
 
Quotes
“We had to really double-click on how each other were feeling, and that it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to have conflict... We really had to learn that disagreements are okay, and it’s how we learn and we grow together. It’s how we start to understand each other on a deeper level.” (08:50 | Danyelle Pollock)
“Parenting… also gets you a lot of practice before it starts to get to a point where [our daughter’s] a teenager and you need to be extra cautious on how you’re hearing her and acknowledging her. And so, I think it’s been great work for us because when we started acknowledging how she felt instead of trying to solve it immediately, if she was sad or upset, we’d say, ‘Oh, so you want to do this?’ And then she’d be like, ‘Yeah,’ and it would almost stop her sadness instantly because she just felt heard. She felt like we knew what she was saying; we understood.” (22:48 | Tristan Pollock)
“I feel like mistakes are inevitable. It’s just more of a commitment to growth and being able to share how you would have liked to do it. And next time, hopefully it goes better. Mistakes happen. Being open-minded and lessening judgment is one of the values. We have four values up on our fridge that we’re trying to use as a general guideline as we're building a family and how we want to think about things, and I think that’s the big one too. We’re here because we want to be, and we want to be better.” (26:04 | Tristan Pollock)
“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, what would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation? When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” (26:46 | Danyelle Pollock)
 
Links
Connect with Danyelle & Tristan Pollock:
https://www.tristanpollock.com/ 
https://www.heywedidthat.com/
 
Apply for the Language Alchemy Group Coaching Program:  LanguageAlchemy.com/groupcoaching
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

158. 7 Tips to Talk About Politics with Family During the Holidays

“If we keep avoiding difficult topics, how are we going to learn to address them?” Alejandra Siroka poses this question with urgency and clarity. She reminds us that “having different political views is not a problem. In fact, it is healthy to have people who see the world, the problems of the world, and the potential solutions in multiple ways.”
 
In this episode, Alejandra shares practical advice on fostering healthy conversations about politics with family members. What happens when a holiday gathering feels overshadowed by divisive topics? Can we bridge the gap without compromising connection? She believes it’s possible—and even essential.
 
Alejandra offers tools to help turn conflict into connection, starting with checking your intentions and focusing on shared values. Small, intentional “micro conversations” can plant seeds for understanding over time, while skillful disagreement opens the door for mutual respect. Alejandra also encourages embracing the uncertainty of unresolved issues, reframing these discussions as opportunities to grow together.
 
With warmth and wisdom, Alejandra challenges us to remember the humanity we share with those we love, even when opinions differ. Tune in to learn actionable tips for transforming tense family discussions into moments of connection and mutual understanding.
 
Quotes
“Intentions are the foundation of relational communication. Agendas are the foundation of transactional communication, and they lead us to divisiveness.” (05:02 | Alejandra Siroka)
“When talking about politics, it’s super important that you are explicit about your intention. When you communicate your intention out loud, that serves as both the foundation to ground your conversation and also as its north star to determine the direction of the conversation.” (06:00 | Alejandra Siroka)
“It is not only okay to have different opinions and views and be able to talk about them; it is useful and beneficial. But we get in trouble when we disagree unskillfully.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka)
“All human beings want to feel safe, loved, accepted, and valued. You want that and your relative wants that, too. And even though you may disagree on how to go about getting your human needs met or your values fulfilled, you are both humans sharing a life and space.” (14:32 | Alejandra Siroka)
 
Links
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366
To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706
To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme
To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com
To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion
To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone
To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples
To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient
To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy
Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm